Home Is Where The Thrill Is

A few days ago, I watch with grim and disappointment as people pack their bags and  prepare to leave for home. I didn't expect such an outcome would occur,  as I'm the only one who's not going back. It's my decision at first to make,as my house is a miserable place to be. Maybe my absence for 5 months will make them appreciate and waiting for my appearance in the future. I mean, after what I went through during last year's semester break, I wouldn't want to be in the place where people conspires to watch your downfall and hates you without any logic reason. But, after watching people hassle and dazzle to depart for home, I start to wonder if my decision is right. I may save some money for airline tickets,but there's a big price to pay: Loneliness. My previous loneliness just doesn't compared to this one. In the whole block, there's may be only 2 or 3 house left with occupants. It's really freaky at night, with all the weird feelings I'm getting. This is the first Chinese New Year celebration that's going to be without my presence at home. I mean, for me (as I'm mix-blooded), CNY may be more meaningful than Hari Raya Aidilfitri as it's more merrier and you can actually experience the atmosphere of festive season. It's a despair for me. I can really feel the emptiness. Not being nostalgic or anything. It's my choice in the first place. I personally thought that this personal experience may train me to be more independent and succumb to changes in the future. As there's things that needs to be done here, iit's might not be that lonely after all. I'm used to jinx all my life. And after all the planning that I'm doing after I received my education loan (minus foods, expenses, books, utilities, train tickets,......), I may happily declare that I'm going to order that sweet, sweet Ichigo Kurosaki Bankai Form figure that I desired so much since last year. It's a good thing for me. Finally, I have something that I will look over to get home, other than my siblings (my little brother: my best friend in the world and also wanting to get his hands on the figure as I do), Chowder (a TV show), rest, and escape from the stereotypes and hectic schedules of UPSI. Writing this actually makes me want to return home more. Boo-hoo... Might as well dream about it as it will not occur in the next 4 months time.