Boring...

Why am I so unfortunate in everything of my life? WHY? Recently, I feel like I'm being constantly disposed by people, whoever and wherever I am. I'm starting to miss my hometown really much. Sob, sob, sob... When I'm having a class, I don't have my own gang. When I walk, I walk alone. When I have class, they cancelled it. Darn it. It really sucks when I carry all the jinx in Sibu into Perak. This sem just doesn't feel like the previous anymore. More tiredness, mute sessions, idiot-staring, and heart-wrenching while constantly being disposed of. Right now, my roommate might be the only companion that's willing to follow me around, accompanying me to eat, go to places, and so forth. Man, this life really sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks.

What the damn that I've done in previous life to obtain such a karma back in this living? Maybe, I've just been overreacting or so. I feel like that I'm not fit enough to continue this struggle. Maybe because my nature, I tend to get stepped on. Everywhere I look, it's the same as always. Semester 1 seems so interesting, while, semester 2, dull. Last semester, I also had this feeling, but  later on it is demolished by the countdown that I made to return to Sibu besides purchasing an item on Ebay, and waiting in anticipation to open it when I get back. However,I felt that I evolved too quickly. If I used to be laughed at and constantly stared in the school, now I feel that this place  feels no difference. My vision of studying isn't for fun as I saw on several people in the university, but it's for converting my hellish life into a more decent one. I don't even had an ambition to become an educator. While everything seems so different here, it seems that nothing had changed. Must I wrote all my negative emotions on this blog? It will looks like I'm an introvert of some sort. But, I am. Maybe I'll convert this emotions by participating in events that requires less conversation and more of an action. Maybe I'll purchase that Bleach Play Arts Kai figure that I desired so much. This is just to get rid of the bad emotions lurking inside me. If I didn't do this, I will end up crying silently every day or having a heavy heart to even budge.

This might be the drug. THE DRUG that cures my sanity for this second semester.