Ending My Post-Graduate Study Life. A Confession of A Data Scientist Aspirator. Bye-Bye 2017

Are you ready? Here it goes...

          It’s been 1 year+ since I really updated my life story.  So much had happened, but practically my post-grad study had been the #1 life priority.  Skipping sides, learning something new.  I see most of my peeps who even dare to pursue post-grad had similar aspects in sight: society recognition, raise in salary & ranking, those are among the forte that motivated them.  It’s just like always, things had been terribly silent since graduation.  Nobody ever care to contact anymore.  Not a soul.  Always thinking positively about how people had their own lives to spare, my negative thoughts were sometimes dissolved in thin air.  As compared to the frequency when people only contacted us whenever they need some favor, probably life in solitude like what Luke did to train his new Jedi generation is what I should pursue after.

          Can’t say how much magnitude I’ve been exposed to with human behavior.  Shed a new light of perspective on me; how indifferent people had been construed upon each other.  Reaching the maximum 3 years of Masters due to persistent neglect by certain people, I learn that even people whom you could uphold your absolute trust to would end up deceiving, like a vixen.  My Masters journey is scarce with human interaction, with the select few that I ended up with become my trusty buddies.  They share similar goals & views regarding with human interactions as I do.  Friendly on the front, but behind there lurks an endless journey of self-reflection.  If counted, I’ve completed 4 journal publications so far: 1 local and 3 others internationally.  AND I STILL WAITING TO COMPLETE MY MASTERS. HECK DAMN.  Once blaming it on my inability to steer my supervisor towards my direction in rapid development, my pavement of completing study had been a standstill like a snail’s crawl.  The complaining I read about other students from other university confession forums turn out pretty real applied with my own.  Never met a lecturer whose approach is 360 degree from your own.

Post-grad. Not a very smooth drive...

          I thought to myself, as 2017 ends what will become of me after this.  After completing my grant research assistant job in 2016, I became a curl weed that dusts around.  Until my Dean recommended me as an apprentice to an Aussie-grad philosophical doctor majoring in Artificial Intelligence in our faculty.  Under her tutelage of 9 months, my experience on post-grad had been significantly boosted.  Before, I was never taught how to develop conceptual taxonomy, skimming through hundreds of articles just to obtain the right topic.  Intense discussion sessions on Evolutionary Algorithms.  Summarizing over 15 journals a day, just to publish an article.  These things is what I’d never endure through during the beginning of my Master studies.  My supervisor’s attitude of handling my affairs made me viewed her in a new light.  She never really “drill” or give me exposure this extensive.  Her way: “Topic”.  Go search for it.  Then produce a research proposal that she heavily argued upon even when she rarely provide any sort of guidance.  Seeing how she neglect her 2 year research with constant “I’m busy” subliminal messages up to the end where I had to craft a final research report based on my own thesis, blaming me instead of her negligence whenever I inquired for feedback eventually made me a new person.  NEVER TRUST ANYONE EVER AGAIN.  She indeed screwed me over hard.  Comparing my supervisor with the current lecturer I didn’t have any relation with, who trained me so intensely than her own doctorate Indonesian student in creating new algorithm & evolutionary algorithm framework made me differentiate lecturers shouldn’t be looked highly upon anymore.  It depends on their dedication of their occupation.

          Personally, I’ve never really argued on the matter of people mistreating me on any events.  I just let it asunder.  I’m a pacifist.  Do it, I think.  Karma would befall upon you someday.  But by ignoring it, I’m always left in a predicament of heavy ignorance.  People, can make up tons of excuses just to cover up their own deficiencies.  You can claim that your current family affairs made you lost focus on how to pay attention to your students.  Claiming that they’re too busy for this month that they would only be able to monitor your progress the next month, which is then subsequently been postponed to the next, the next, eventually a year.  Eventually people would see through.  Then they came back afresh, asking you to do new things that instantly made you realize they never really pay any attention to your progress.  Then suddenly a barrage of machine gun accusations flew.  I personally found it quite amusing.  If people with high credibility, earning respect from their peers & community just because they leveraged with a certificate entitled as DOCTORS that they lost sight of their prior intention to excel in their own field made them abuse their privilege towards students, I wonder would the expert society be composed of THEM.  Perhaps I haven’t exposed to the big picture.  And a tiny fraction strives to excel whilst sacrificing their beauty sleep, socializing times, earning headaches but unable to convey it to their friends, not wanting to earn a position raise in the faculty like my Aussie mentor would always be shunned.  The societal endeavor of power striving individuals today is FRIGHTENING.  But I’m inclined to think about it.  If I shared the similar status & judgmental affliction as them, would I do the same mistakes again.  If compare both of them side by side & asking them to lecture about programming paradigm, I’m sure which side will emerge victorious.  Haven’t even placed the remark of their students coming to me every semester for programming tutelage where they “praise” their lecturers.  My lips are sealed.  I learned 2 distinctions: people who CARE and those who DON’T.

Tired reading? Here's a guy that waves his arms around~

          Being neglected while pursuing your life goals made you more contented with your objective.  You won’t pay any attention to social media.  Likes on Instagram or Facebook is not important.  You would feel anxious if the internet stutters while you’re constantly pressing share on the Evolutionary Algorithm article you read even though you knew people won’t even care about it.  You’ll be focused on carrying 4 heavy books in your bag, with arms clamping 1 each because your passion to read a new approach on mutation strategies.  Your mind would be constantly preoccupied with imagery of coding errors, shrouded with visualizations on solution steps.  People whispered upon your dull stoic look where the surroundings is loud with careless laughter.  Your 2 hour gaming session before bed is what distanced yourself from all the mind-boggling humanity and research problems.  I guess this kind of uninteresting life is what you really should be enduring to earn a title as a DR.  That is what my personal experience taught me. 

          I mean, I’ve lost a lot whilst stubbornly attempting to achieve something anyone I see around me haven’t able to accomplish yet.  My dream since little is to emulate the behavior of hackers, typing rapidly because I’m so good in what I do. I was endowed too much in doing research that I never pay any attention to the world (and the only explanation why 98% of my friends never contacted me!).  I never really enjoy the culture of sucking up, where you have to browse through people’s narcissism post of going on vacation or wedding galore, or wishing people happy birthday that with a tiny speck of hope that people would do the same to you.  That’s my HUGE problem.  That's why my rarely updated Instagram pic earn 1 like.  I guess it’s because I’m tired of constantly being the one who call or message first.  I guess that’s being my main motivation factor of pursuing study, amid all the nonsense condition that I have to endure from professional groups around me.  If my Aussie doctor went so far as to argue with the Graduate Studies Institute about my “hanging” state & reserved a research position + scholarship for me even I haven’t completed my Masters yet, maybe the pointless life of reading & typing everyday still haven’t wane completely.  What would a normal human being do in this kind of situation? BAIL.  And I’m stupidly clinging on.  Really, what would normal people do?  With the prayer of people willing to read my entry and the power of Internet God’s blessing, may every bittersweet experience of post-grad study ends swiftly.

          HAHA, if I somehow managed to complete my Masters of Computer Science and commence my Post-Doctorate of Artificial Intelligence research studies in 2018 I vow to publish a post about my love story.  And all the juicy experiences when I worked as a researcher in my university.  It’ll be a sweet fan-service.  I pray that 2017 would end well, and a fresh start of 2018.  Thankfully I didn’t have to go to Australia at the New Year’s Day just to present the paper me & my mentor wrote (I’m inexperienced anyway).  But I guess, publishing 3 big papers this year may had been the big accomplishment behind my misery of doing Masters.  To any post-grad students who may will stumbled upon this entry, your pain is not in vain.  I feel you.

“From here on out, the lines that separates the fiction & reality doesn’t exist.” Jack Simon, DARKER THAN BLACK 

Teacher Posting, Good Luck. It's been Social Media Turmoil.

The feeling of uncertain. Doubts envelops your soul, encompassing every direction and sight that you besiege.  That’s the emotion that I’m currently experiencing.  After been hit by a lot of social turmoil these 8 months, I’ve been constantly wandering in thought.  Apart from busying for at least half day reading journals, editing and trying to code programs to extract data, trial-and-error with my thesis chapters, I’ve decided to distance myself from the plague that is called social media.  I mean, it’s the place where you would be shrouded with happiness the most, but at the same time hatred & discomfort.  I could say, for the last 8 months leaving 2016 all I did every day is to focus on my data mining research, testing a mock-up theory that doesn’t seem to have its ending.  When you’re trying to innovate something new, you know for sure that you’re going to suffer a bit in the long term.  But I’m not going to delve deep into my research study.  Data science gave me a headache sensation. :) That section made me quite bored & emotionless for the time being.

As I’m among the only survivors from my batch that remains doing my Masters degree in Information Technology, you could say that I chose to live in solitude.  Life in isolation, deserting all the needs to be socializing.  Everywhere I go, whatever I do, I’ve selected the path as a lonewolf, an avenger seeking answers to my solitude.  Probably after starting my studies last February 2015, I’ve chosen path that many prefer not to walk on.  As my only social circles apart from my early schooling days are my university “friends”, the status that they’re posting slants towards the “educator” side.  Even those few that braved the decision to continue Masters are those that want to show others their superior side.  I chatted with 5 of those that selected to do so, and their answer to why they’re doing it seems vague and ambiguous, like somehow they’re telling me “I want to be superior to others.  My Masters would raise my net worth, even just for a bit.  I would definitely feel worthy more than others!” Well, for people like me (do you believe it if I told you?) who decided to continue pursuing our education while we still have chance, we’re doing it purely out of interest towards the field.  Almost, no exterior motives.  Therefore, every time I saw these self-proclaimed postgraduate students boasting about their status to their brethren, outsiders, their former comrades, I always doubt if their effort really worth it with their knowledge; brains or brawn.  These are the type that hires others to do their program codes, but suddenly got "possessed" by ghosts of system analysts during presentations.  Hilarious.  Don't get me started on other courses.

Like Kyle, you'll get carpal tunnel when you scrolled through this idiotic status much.

 The reason that I’m feeling insecure with my current choice stems from a wide range of external, conflicting factors.  But mostly, they came from the effect of my surroundings.  Nowadays, I often turn off my social media, be it Facebook, Instagram, or even Twitter because the infestations of “posers” are critical.  They seem to possess high nihilistic attitudes, talking good about themselves in front of social media pretending they’re oblivious of the social media crowd that would always highlight all their movements even to the slightest detail.  I used to have ironclad wall behind my feelings (after I got friend-zoned 3 times I somehow lost trust to seemingly everyone, haha), performing decisions by judging the magnitude of logic surrounding them.  If the decision seems likely to fail, I would try my best to avoid that route.  And so, I postponed twice the “invitation” from the Ministry to be educator for the next, 30 years or so.  After taking Education courses in my university & completed teaching practice in high schools, I eventually doubt my entire determination to become a teacher.

"Last time it took the PC kids 6 years to leave. We still got, 5.9 years left."

  I just don’t see it in me.  My mom, aunt, their friends.  My family background is consisted mostly of teachers.  I had already experienced it whole myself.  Teaching in tuition centres, substituting as a tutor in university.  I could see my entire future being shrugged if I select this path.  After I manage to stop a 14 year old boy from being tossed from the 2^nd floor by his bully friends and force a brat-like class to submission to the extent that I lose my voice, I chose to walk a longer path this time.  Both of my closest friend who chose the similar path to me ended up as a programmer in Singapore and education executive in the Ministry.  We all know what to endure, so we evade it early.  So I chose to postpone it.  But a lot of kids (I say it like that because they seem, incapable) in my course tend to select the path.  I see them waited for 2 years, moaning in social media every day, creating mayhem on Twitter by constantly attacking the Education Minister with random tweets demanding for interview session for teacher placement.  

*speaking in Spanish accent* How do I reach this kids?

   I mean, I get it that our university is an education university, but do you need to nag the higher ups to provide a silver spoon opportunity for you just because you chose to remain stagnant every day, waiting for good news to be delivered straight to the front door?  Most of them are the helpless type, that is constantly “On” the social media and posts “I just woke up! Good morning!” at 12 in the afternoon.  Well, we know where does it escalates.   I know majority of these people, I live with them, I see how they perform, their attitudes in doing work.  And I know very well that they’re not qualified.  But slowly I’m scarred by what everyone being doing every day on social media.  I’m the kind of people who does social media to be updated of entertainment matters, how my K-Pop stars strive, latest movie reviews, and my closest friend life condition.  I don't really care if people are going to boast every minute inch of their life. But somehow I always get bombarded by these retard status; long list of thanking everyone for everything, parading support for demanding work from the government.  I mean, this action just made me felt revolted & insulted.  You can choose various ways to ignore them, but they'll just come back and bite you in the rear.  It's not that we're envious of the whole scenario, but more like it's over-asserting and somewhat looks obnoxious.

The feeling you get when you can't get your words through anyone.

 Social media is the platform where we express ourselves to our closest accomplices.  We did something to inform them that “I’m okay!”  But all I see is people keep boasting about themselves, in this case “The whole interview process goes like this….”, “I’m wearing coat for this special day.  So handsome me hashtag #goodluck”.  Group photos like there’s no tomorrow.  People outside doesn't give a batshit to the revelation. But they’ve succeeded in shrugging my previous stoic demeanor.  Don’t take me as an emo person, I’m just a pacifist that prefers to see down-to-earth people, doing things without so much as revealing to the entire world.  But even to the point where my closest friends started to do so every day, is it simply excitement on what they possess or an uncontrollable urge to parade one’s achievement? Like, the kind of selfie enthusiast that would bomb photos just after having a lunch at Mcdonalds.  I’m glad that I chose the life as a pacifist, because it managed to make me to look at priorities in life, striving my way to the top without going to the extent of unveiling the shreds of the life I undertook everyday just for people to be informed and form a compassion and fondness.  When I blended with my supervisors and my former lecturers during my usual working hours as a research assistant, I could see that highly intelligent people doesn’t tend to overexert themselves to express every detail of their life to the masses; just living a decent life, humble but filled with responsibility. 

People want sensational news!

  Citing my few lecturers in the process.  Dr. M. is a lecturer that is highly credible to me.  She taught a few of my Programming classes during my undergrad class, and 1 during postgrad.  Her attitude changed after she taught me in postgrad, and she talks more cheeky and a slightly “you’re an equal” tone.  I respect her for her excel in programming and algorithms, be it as a mother like figure.  I once lost my mind and revealed to her my family problems in an email, and she cared to reply to it at midnight whilst providing a soothing revelation to reduce my complications. There’s a few similar lecturers like that, but what I’m trying to point is by how superior and highly capable one could be but still remains being humble and oblivious to social media popularity all the time.  They live, but they refuse to follow the fad.  Actually I chose to become a pacifist during my postgrad studies because of this few individuals, where personal experiences with them made me acknowledge the point they attempt to convey even in our daily speeches; that it’s important to understand oneself before allowing others to dictate our own future and actions.  Their actions modeled me a bit inside. 

1 word: OK.

Although now I doubt my decision to follow the path that all my brethren chose (and those that say they absolutely won’t, but they end up doing so!), it somehow made me review what I’ve undergone these 6 years I’ve been studying in tertiary education.  Been exposed dramatically to human drama in the end where I’ve been ambushed by even my closest buddies, I remember a word uttered by my senior taking Masters of Robotics. “In this world filled with scumbags and douches that shapes majority of the people’s opinion, you can’t trust anyone.  Even me, sitting calmly here.  I might be thinking ill about you at this moment, but I still smiles to reflect that I don’t.  Probably you do too.  But it’s important to remain vigilant during your struggles.  Trust a blunt knife, and it won’t help you slaughter your enemy.  The knife is you, whether you want it to be blunt in your struggles or sharpen it to save for future to come.”  He mentioned these words with a poker face, that guy.  As I’m writing this, a little wind of relief came to me. Probably because I managed to relay and re-enforce my stand, what I believe in.  Trust not the fad in the crowd, but the inner conscious of you that yells you to follow what you believe in.  THAT gut feeling.  So I’m leaving my entry with a made up, quote of my day.

Like Cartman said, don't follow the fad but create your own.

“Compelled by thy enemies thought and prepare to embrace fallen; vigilant with thy own thoughts and thy may fail.  Let nature shows you the path, strutting towards oblivion or ignorance bliss.”

Side Story: How Did I Fell in Love with You, Dear Programming

The thing about life is, there’s bound to be something that strives us to go further.  Be it past mistakes, will to overcome the odds, or even at the simplest of improving oneself.  Being a student myself, I understood that sometimes it’s important for us to possess that certain “pizzaz” as a factor that distinguishes ourselves from others.  Now am pursuing my Masters in Information Technology, there’s a lot of experience that I endeavour to reach my current state.  Well, it’s not that awesome anyway.  Love broken, life tragedies, shun by the crowd, these are what I can say being my guidance to always remind myself to be one step ahead of others.  If others crawl, I should crawl & dodge.  If others read 3 books, I would motivate myself to read 4.  This is not the type of those competitive states, but rather a self-motivation to do my best.

What motivated me to have a deep interest in the realm of Information Technology, I think.  It must be from that incident.  A racist incident for me, that make me think twice to be successful in life.  To tell a story about it.  Well, here I go.  It must be during my 3^rd semester in degree days.  I remember the day is a Friday, 8.30 in the morning.  That day I’m having my final exam for 1 of my core IT subjects, Data Structures.  Studied like heck a few days before.  As most of other courses had already concluded their exam a few days prior, our course is among those that “suffers the misery” of watching people packing & leave for home.  Heading to the bus stop as usual, I saw almost a still population; almost nobody is in sight.  The shuttle bus to the adjacent campus is still operational however, where the sight of those bus drivers drinking coffee in nearby shops could be seen.  There’s 1 bus that I perceive would lead me to the new campus.  However, the bus remained a standstill.  Reluctant to move.  When I saw the bus driver left his crowd at the coffee shop, I assumed that he’s the particular driver.  So he is.  I left my seat in the bus shed, heading towards his direction.  I inquired his next direction, just to be sure.  To my surprise, he ignored me in front of others.  After few attempts of “acknowledging” a brick wall, I raise my voice to illustrate my discernment.  Another surprise occurred.  “You go use taxi or something.  I had already attended your friends to the new campus earlier.  You should come before now, it’s my resting time.  I’m not going that far just to send you there alone.”  What’s annoyingly, he used the Chinese-to-Malay slang to refer to me.

As the schedule shows, buses are supposed to move every 30 minutes.  And it’s their duties to attend to us students.  I can’t believe I begged for the first time in my degree days to him.  After a few minutes of consultation, he eventually agreed to leave.  Trouble over? Not quite.  This incident affected what would occur afterwards.  Along the way, I sat in front with him.  Attempts to forge a friendly conversation just to release the “heat”, all my efforts went unheeded.  He even cursed me all the way.  Calling me names, comparing his schedules with students’ timings, these among the rest.  Patience, I think.  When I reached the venue, I thanked him.  He replied me with another cursing.  “Don’t let me see you again!  You good-for-nothing little Chinese kid!”  Whoa.  I swear I never said anything.  He must have thought I’m some sort of Chinese kid to resent me, who he don’t even recognise.  I imagine to him, how much sin you would accumulate on that morning for hating your own kind.  That point had opened my eyes of how insolent & racist some people can be.  I admit, I’m a mixed race offspring.  But I had never, ever encountered any accounts such as these in my own state, where Malay population is the minority.  I personally thought that community here haven’t been exposed enough with cultures other than their own to proudly proclaiming that they’re living in a multiracial country.  I left the bus without turning back.

Our examination venue is at the 3^rd floor.  It is a place where the famous car manufacturer, Proton’s factory resides.  Our university kind of rented the whole place for academic purposes.  Due to the un-circumstantial mishap and curses that I endured, I was late for 40 minutes.  I rushed like a madmen to the exam hall.  You see, all of that venue had that glass architecture thingy.  Made it looked like Power Ranger fortress when viewed from afar.  I ran 3 floors, ignoring the very existence of elevator.  I guess I kind of screwed up.  With the classroom in front of me, I rushed after the door.  Probably there’s a person before me that swing the glass door, that I ran right into.  God knows what happen afterwards.  Direct shove into a glass door.  I fell, sat on the floor.  I see stars, my knees that came into contact with the door turn numb.  It turned blue in an instant.  For a couple of minutes I stare blank into the scenery of that auto city below.  Not before then that I realized my head is bleeding profusely.  I ignored it, covering it with a handkerchief, walking straight into the exam hall oblivious of whatever occurring.  The exam already commenced for 30 minutes.  I felt, better late than never.  “Luckily”, I was arranged to sit in the very front, face-to-face with my lecturer.  I guess she is the maternal type.  “What happened to your forehead?  Are you sick or something?  Is that…blood?”  Oooh, I’m still dumbly holding a handkerchief over my head.  “Nothing Dr, it’s just a burst our pimple.  My bad.”  And the rest is history.  I failed that very paper.  Didn’t finish it on time.  Due to the hypocrisy of certain people.  After that, I was being paranoid of my own race & everything that they commit.  Due to this, I had to repeat the same paper in my final semester.  I guess my dean might be the only lecturer that noticed, as she signed the letter of acceptance.

My relationship with the lecturer that taught the subject is what I’d say, as if mother and son.  Her name is Dr Mashitah Hashim.  As some junior proclaimed, she might be among the lecturer that is very proficient in programming for our Computing Department.  I don’t know quite well what happened, but she claimed when we have private chats that in the huge lecture hall she noticed my timid nature among the rest.  It reminded her of her own child.  I mean, how possible can it be right?  After that incident, I went to her office to inquire to retake the exam.  I told her of the whole incident.  Know what she told me?  “I noticed something amiss with your answers when I read your paper.  It’s brief and short.  Not your way of life, I think.  And you didn’t answer most of the questions.  I didn’t think you’d be lazy enough, to left out your opportunity of passing with flying colours.  When you came and told me your own stories, I know my doubt is true.”  That’s how I remember she’s quoted.  She asked me to retake the entire subject, having high expectation and gave me a speech that emphasized I should become a good programmer who doesn’t only understand the fundamentals of programming by memorizing a few notes, but rather the logic behind its implementation.  Before this, she’s the only lecturer that I dare to share about my family’s conflicts, how Chinese and Malay nature clashed in my household.  She would reply my letters in the wee hours of morning, sharing her perspective which I doubt someone who’s still in a sleepy state would be able to relay.

After that, I really vowed to succeed in the field of programming.  The reference book is what I preferred from romance novels, online tutors being my subscribed list in Youtube.  I managed to score a solid A when I took Object-Oriented Programming during the 6^th semester, something that I heard from my lecturers is a feat succeeded by only 10 people from hundreds taking that exam.  I started to have interest towards field other than C++, such as Actionscript in animation, cloud computing development, even up to the extent of Java programming.  Due to this, I took the challenge of selecting mobile application development as my Final Year Project.  I spent about 1 year researching on Java Enterprise and Eclipse.  Although my app doesn’t end like as it should be, I managed to gain an insight of field deeper than fundamental programming.  Our faculty even hold a competition of Final Year Project exhibition, where I illustrated my failed attempt at app building.  Although that attempt is proven futile, something raised my spirit afterwards.  As mentioned earlier, I had re-take the subject in our final year.  Unfortunately, some new-seeded lecturer took Dr Mashitah’s place, which I think really suck at teaching.  Mind the language.  I didn’t manage to be in her class.  Something occurred afterwards.  There’s 1 final coursework for Data Structures, where I’m partnered with a girl.  We’re mixed with foreign students from Namibia.  So you could expect how ambience the environment is.  I thought Dr Mashitah doesn’t acknowledge me anymore, since I lost contact with her for 2 years.  Right after we presented our coursework, she called me.  “I want to see your mobile application.  Let’s see why you failed to win. Maybe we can fix it.  I think you deserved it!”  How did she know I developed that?  I didn’t tell anyone, only my supervisors.  She smirked.  People who know her would understand that she doesn’t smirk easily at her students, unless she’s really close with them.  That incident really made me build my interest in programming.  Even up until now, we still have an okay relationship, meet-and-greet besides messaging each other.  Even close friends don’t do that.

People say, one’s courtesy might be meaningless to some however meaningful to one.  I believe, that’s the predicament that I’m in.  I didn’t really trust those that excel in exams, but fail to care less about one single programming development.  I mean, that’s the reality of the population right.  I think that the best compliment that you could hear from a programming lecturer is not “Congrats on getting A!”, but rather “I think you’re no doubt suitable to work in the industry with your skills.”  I’ve heard stories from my old teachers & teaching practice that how the theories emphasized in university is trash in the real world practice.  It depends on how you expand your comprehension on the matter.  No doubt, there might be people who prefer on leaving all those knowledge behind & pursue new less complicated practice.  But for people like me, we rather learn new applications & update our existing knowledge than trash those valuable basics behind. 

From this will after I graduated, I decided to pursue what I think is essential.  There’s 1 member in my household who go doctorate.  There’s no mistake for me to do that too, right.  So while I see my course mates whine about the lack of opportunity to look for jobs openly on social media, I decided to do anything related to my studies.  Fortunately, right after the night that I graduated I got messaged by my vice dean to become her research assistant in developing a web crawler for text tokenization.  I admit, I didn’t manage to reach her expectation in that 5-month project due to my lacking.  However, right after that while I’m searching for financial boost for my Masters degree, I received an offer to pursue the field of Artificial Intelligence & Natural Language Processing with another lecturer.  My study fee was waived, I got monthly salaries, got offered job as university tutor, and manage to hold on to what I want to do.  Currently I’m continuing a project of Named Entity Recognition.  So yeah, I was being thankful.  After a racist incident, my morale had reached this point.

So after blabbering so long in this article, I just want to stress out that there’s no need to be ashamed with what we choose in life.  People might get odd jobs and access to credit cards while we’re still dragging our lives to research a programming language & preparing to attend conferences, but it’s important that we do what we believed in.  They might have the privileges of boasting about their lives, where we live in seclusion from the crowd due to our duties.  What matters is what happens afterwards.  Few years ago, I was actually planning to become a civil engineer in a public institution that I rejected after.  My life would be drastically different if I choose that path.  Road that diverges to a selection to life journey, we need to choose it wisely.  Predicament, it’s what matters the most.