Kelegaan, dalam Keresahan.....

Seseorang yang benar-benar mencintaimu…

Bukanlah dia yang selalu ucap “I Love You” kepada kamu.

Bukanlah dia yang selalu berkata mesra di hadapanmu.

Bukanlah dia yang selalu mengatakan seberapa besar dia mencintaimu.

Akan tetapi..

Dia yang selalu mengkhuatirkan keadaanmu.

Dia yang selalu ingin tahu khabarmu.

Dia yang selalu ingin membuatmu bahagia.

Dia yang selalu mengerti perasaan kamu tanpa harus diminta.

Dia yang tak pernah menuntut cinta kamu untuk diperlihatkannya.

Dia yang tak pernah ingin membuatmu menangis kerana perangainya.

Dia yang selalu menghargai dan memuliakanmu.

Kerana dia tahu, ketulusan cinta itu tidak perlu diperlihatkan di depan orang ramai agar khalayak tahu bahawa kamu adalah satu-satunya cintanya.

Melainkan bagaimana dia mampu membuktikan seperti apa dia mampu untuk selalu setia dan melindungimu serta bertanggungjawab untuk menghalalkannya.

Cinta sejati.

Bukan hanya sekadar cinta di mulut saja.

Dan bukan cinta berteraskan nafsu semata-mata.

(quoted from somewhere, modified from that “where”, & posted here.  If notice, I never post in BM before.  But, it's touching...)

      I almost fell the library stairs at the moment I go online on my Android last night.  Nasirah posted a status, that I know is referring to her condition.  That's the good part.  The bad part is, all the "unrelated" articles took part in the conversation.  Even worse, that person who I assume is trying to divert my attention commented on the post like she's THAT close to my dear cat lover.  Actually, those that pretend to care about her didn't acknowledged that she is as wise as I claimed her to be.  She already foresee their actions, that's what she told me.  I remember last semester, when dear Ira started to show symptoms of her disease.  She texted me, who was curious with her absence.  "Rid, ira sakit sangat-sangat.  Demam.  Tak tahan dah..."  I offered to accompany her to the clinic right away, but she rejected with the pretext that she lost strength to even move.  And 1 thing that enrages me at that time: "Ira tak makan dari malam tadi."  It was evening at that moment.  More than 18 hours that she didn't feed anything.  From that time onwards, I was never trusting her closest companions and I felt that I had the obligation to look after this innocent girl and give her my utmost care.  Those people, I'm always watching in the rear.  Doing obvious things like that sure made them feel good, doesn't it?  I'm on the inclination of logical reasoning.  I don't make pointless assumptions regarding this issue.  People, all kinds of shapes and sizes that should doesn't exist wouldn't make this globe throttle around wouldn't it? 

      The moment that she sms’ed me today, telling me about her desire to return this July (to be precise, probably by the end of this week), how glad she is knowing there’s people who still remembers her well-being, her desire to meet me before I go back, wishing me luck for my exam, encouraged me not to lose my guard, and most of all, telling me how relieved she is to be pardoned from people here that had bad intention towards herself made me a bit whole deep inside.  People who didn't even attend to her while she's in pain, whilst they're living in just the vicinity shouldn't act saint and proclaim they care for her like they did.  Astagfirrullahhalazim, really.  She told me EVERYTHING, & it was me whom she always text-ed while she's bearing the pain until the extent that I need to acquire outside assistance to attend to my dear cat lover's health.  I thought about those peoples' actions, how they perceive they're in a group that bears the ideology of truth from the glare of the society.  With my closest friend's support & guidance, I thought to give all these matters a pass.  I never regret my decision to protect Nasirah like a family, even if it cost my reputation already.  Cause it definitely felt like I’ve given my heart to the right person this time.  Forget those that had the hard feeling to forgive & forget.  Nauzubillah. 

Somewhere, I felt at ease.

I was motivated by this pic to finish me and her's robotic project.  Although it failed... I still think I've done something that'll make her please when she returns.