It’s approximately been 18 days since I served a dosing of my
own stories into the realms of public. I
mean, the previous few entries had only been filled with poems of my own
making, some who’re inspired from what actually occurring within my scope of
conscience. It’s verbs of metaphors,
shielding what I want to convey to the individuals who’re behind them: the ones
who put my patience to the limits, aches my heart content, simmers my soul with
joy, & scoop up my sandbox of curiosity. People who read it may think I quoted it from
somewhere, but it’s actually of my own composing. No aid of lyric, people’s mentioning, or so
forth. So, this time I build up my
motivation to compile what happened in my surroundings after inspired by last
night’s incident.
Well, there’s nothing that suits my identity in this
institution the best, amongst them is the fact that my passiveness is hectic
being exploited by unscrupulous people, or beast as I describe them. The biggest example lives in my
household. The damn I care if he reads
this entry. As I previously mentioned,
there’s some “guy” who stings me up to my conscious of patience every day. Be it his actions, verbs, or simply
perceptions, he’s just simply outrageous for someone to be hold stand to. Been living with him for about 4 semester
now. There’s a novel of mine in the
making that describes his attitude perfectly, so I’ll leave it to the 8 pages
of essays to be released before allowing the audience to fully interpret how
this pitiful individual should live on later to consent every shred of his
actions. Preference of equal "domains",
constantly chatting on the phone, are some of the annoying stuff that he did
that drove me and another 1 of my roommate up the wall, as he commented as well. After his confession to me (which I deeply
regretted today), he expect that we could took things for granted. Well, honestly it’s weird even for a man’s
degree of liking. We could accept it, but just don't play that obvious. I mean, actually why
did he still prefer to remain to study?
All those thing that he did, it
doesn’t convey an action of a university student. Citing some of his deeds that I thought were
megalomaniac, he prefers to use my stuff rather than his. A few weeks ago, we each went for our own
grocery shopping (there’s a history of how this happened, that he left me to
purchase on his self). I was so angry
that I bought a whole bag of rice for myself, which we initially had a deal of
sharing. 5kg is pretty much for 1
person. Cooking oils, eggs, etc are some
of the basic food that I bought to sustain my dinner. However, he started to use up all of my
stuff, which forced me to replenish them again over the weeks. I mean, what do you think? Annoying trait number 1. And worse still, he played dumb about it. As an Islam, we believe in the principles of correcting our brethren whenever they're at fault. So, is it counted as me resenting, or just expressing my dissatisfaction? If it's the former, then I might had made a sin for myself.
There’s last Thursday that we went on our usually night life,
cooking for ourselves after 7 p.m.. But
due to fatigue, I lied down for just a few minutes after 6.30. The moment I lied on bed, footsteps were
heard scurrying downstairs, then some aroma of steamed rice came shooting from
the kitchen. I ignore those details that
time, though he bought his own. The next
moment I woke up at 7, my heads were hanging by his deeds. He said to me, “I cooked my rice in the
kitchen, you can scoop a small portion of yours afterwards. Don’t need to cook anymore”. My, someone actually cooked for me that day,
I perceive. So, I walked to the kitchen,
and see that my rice bag is GONE. The
whole content is in the POT. Can you
imagine how pissed off I was at that time? He did say “MY RICE”. For English it means he bought it himself
right? Correct me. I could stand that
they’re not doing household cleaning, or so, but using up my stuff? That’s just too much. He even broke the
promise that we mend in the initial stage of our living together: cooking pigs
with my presence. Last 3 weeks, he
actually fried pigs-in-a-can using the same wok that we used to cook with. So I had to spend a fortune just to purchase
on an investment that I THOUGHT won’t worth it as he’ll use my stuff to his
heart’s degree of content. I lived
better when I’m alone last semester without any pressure, can even sing in the
room. Now, I’m cursing alone in my
heart. Another event occurred just last
night, almost identical as the previous 1.
The difference, he MONOPOLIZED every tool that’re used to prepare
food. Heaters, woks, pots, he use them
all. And I can bet that he left them
unwashed, so the next victim could be the freelance CLEANER (I am). And so, I’m left with a croaking stomach this
morning because I only ate biscuits & 2 pieces of bread last night. Individuals like that who bullies people around should be sacked
according to what they deserve for a religion’s view. Couldn’t take the
gaiety anymore.
Actually after been caught by 4 nightmares just now after
unnoticed resting for 1 hour after class, I’m inspired to write this
entry. Dreamt that my handphone exploded, girlfriend
slapped me, people shrieked, are among the bad dreams I had. Feeling very frustrated these few weeks, with
a few minor history assignments to rush.
Been to KL (National Arcade) & not shopping last week, PWTC, field
work with my not-so-humid group, are among the realities that I had to face
these 2 weeks alone. Moneys fly,
friendships put to the strain, bullied around in your comfortable compound, I
took them all. A pity event happened
between me & my crush “colour”, where we’re the constant tease material of
my coursemate. I mean, this had gone
too far. Even if we’re ACTUALLY
coupling, people can’t hurt her feelings like that. I tried to distance myself so as to avoid any
more fatalities to her heart, but from the complaints that I receive straight
from her inbox, she’s somehow affected.
Feeling sorry as I cared for & loved her that much. Everywhere I go, people would chant her name,
where it’s even a much more worse case for her to bear. She mentioned that people tease her with “Li
Shengshun”, “Li Chong Wei”, all my nicknames to her degree of patience. I know deep down that’s the factor that repel
our relationship one step further. It’s
so crazy with every paparazzo trying to catch a glimpse of me and her
together. Wicked, like Justin Bieber. Should I express my feelings here? Nah, I’ll
keep it to myself this time. The last
incident is when I gave her a present, indirectly with my friend as a
mailman. Couldn’t believe what I
hear. My friend just, gave her the stuff
while mentioning my name IN FRONT of the class.
So, imagine how humiliated she is.
But, she’s still happy to see me, that’s filling my voids of sorrow from
all these environmental bullies.
As for my daily living, there’s literally not much
improvement. Although I wish that I
would be as busy as I can, so as to avoid the presence of the person that I
DESPISE that much in this house. Planned
to move, although I KNOW its an impossible feat. Woke up late a few times before class, getting
late even after receiving a gift bike from a dear friend, feels like jelly on
the weekends, I don’t know what’s going on inside my head. Looks like my synchronized living of organization
had slowly been affected with the presence of my roommates. I’m afraid my results would plunge down, but
I swear I’ll strive to my best. Tried to
alter my appearance a bit this semester, but it just doesn’t feel like myself
anymore. It’s like I’m living to please
people’s expectation . So, Farid, be
honest to yourself. Do as well as you
can. Fight if you dare. And, do your best to improve yourself. (I’m talking to myself……) So, in this entry, I would like to pray for
my mother & brother’s well being, my "colour" being successful in anything
that she does (wish she would do better than me), her mother in good health,
& myself to stand out as so not to get bullied that easy anymore. Amin. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment