Autumn In My Heart

Although I'm busy like always recently, I always had a thought of filling in my dusty, online diary.  So, while I'm having migraine now from 10+ hours on PC everyday, added with a routine sleeping timetable at 3 a.m. daily, I've decided to add a juicy story about my past regarding this hewey-dewey emotion that became almost as popular a Facebook, even before it's release in 2004: LOVE.

Before I begin, this is my probably marathon of 4 love stories that I had personally (and not infringed) experienced.  I'll name it after the ever-popular quadruple love drama that becomes the sensation of Asia once upon a time ago: Autumn in My Heart,Winter Sonata, Summer Scent, and Spring Waltz, with the first is the most painful and the latter is the most sweetest like corn ice cream perhaps.

My autumn season begin while I'm studying in semester 1, back in 2010 when I first entered university.  As I mentioned in my previous entries, there's 1 girl that I'm particularly had a fall on, even until this very day.  People close to me may know about this, but nah, I won't mention her name here. Who knows, she's reading... She's the one who managed to open up to me while I'm in seclusion, facing the harsh new reality that I would like to call as Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idirs.  Her traits, well, read it down there, haha.  The sweetness happens during our encounters, when my heart nearly stopped literally from watching her sight of presence.  The season however, happens in just one single day which changes everything.  It was a collaboration night of event for the Chinese Association's annual CNY Festival: Pesta Chun.  I was, in fact, participated in it as a, you may not believe it, translator. My language capability, hehe.  They asked me to translate literally everything, from the emcee's dialogues to the slides that they're going to illustrate in front of the big screen.  This task feels just like a programmer, working off-screen unnoticed by the end user.  As I'm taking 9 subjects last semester, it nearly killed me, really.  I nearly passed on this work.  What could this job typically get me in? Certificates?  For my health?  Forget it.  But, after I've been acknowledged by my former room mate that "she" is in the dancing recitals, man, I accepted the job.  I translated everything, even from the Chinese dialogues.  Sai lei leh, haha.  Kidding.

The date approaches week after week and finally landed its feet upon a typically peaceful but cloudy Sunday evening.  I've make preparations and adjusted my schedule just so that I could enjoy that particular day without and intrusion from my house chores or my assignments.  I bought her a gift: chocolates, sweets, and everything related.  It doesn't cost much, but at least it illustrates my sincerity.  Then, I departed, dressed in my casual fitters, UPSI jacket, and a cool man pose.  When I get up the bus, I can't believe it.  She's on it, make-up and son on with her buddies, perhaps performing for the night too I thought.  I secretly texted her during the journey, telling her that she looks good (her hair is twisted in a manner similar to the lady actress in the older Star Wars movies.).  Just to give her a support, or otherwise.  I told her that I'm coming to the festival too, just to support my pals and to see my artwork, haha.  Then she informed me that she's nervous and asked me to wish her the best. And so I did.  I bought some bread (I didn't normally eat it as a dinner, but for her, what the heck, I'll do it...) from the nearby store to fill myself at night.  Then, I walked to the main hall where it is all located.

The show started, I don't want to mention the whole process, so I'll just skip to the climacs.  I waited for her performance, and there she is, dressed in white.  My God, I swear I melt at the moment.  I snapped a few of her pics together with my pal's recitals, just for keeps.  But, blame my low quality Nokia 3250 for doing a poor job, haha.  Then, after the unrelated acts ended (the hostess looks steamy with a black cheongsam that night.:-)), everyone scatters home.  I waited for my pals to snap some memorial pics with them.  I'm so excited about the chance of meeting her that I ignored the overview of my artwork that night. Then, at an unpredicted moment, she entered the hall.  Where's my gift, darn it.  However, my autumn started and ended at right an instantaneous lightning bolt.  I saw her, hands folded into a grasping arm of a Chinese exchange student.  I mean, everything ended at the moment.  My heart, really shattered in that dimension.  I don't know whether to smile, or cry, still dumbfounded and standing there.  She just walk pass me, ignoring my existence while I smiled forcefully to her.  Wow.  I immediately rushed home, running to the bus stop to my hostel without waiting for my pals to finish the business like we had previously planned.  I'm crying, walking while removing my glasses and staring blankly into thin space.

That night, I slept early without even had a mind to continue my work.  My room mate even felt curious with my change of routine.  I couldn't think anymore that night.  Only then I understand about how painful love break is.  I mean, I haven't even get it on, but already passed out in the process.  That's one of my seasonal love endings.  It really happened, exactly last semester in the month of February, the 27th day of it.  So, there it is.  I'm pathetic in relationship, even as we speak.  So, how do I will ever get it if I wasn't the one who kindles the flame of passion from my targeted passion? You decide.  Her name is: B** *E* ***I.  Perhaps the next entry will be more pleasing, right? +_+

My encounter with her yesterday inspires me to write about it today. *-*