I "LOVE" My "Heaven"-My Family

 As far as the title suggests, I'm not having a very good time at home, it's really miserable.  The holiday that I long awaited since February had truly not going the way I wanted.

     Everytime I returned from university, my family doesn't seems to have the hospitality attitude like what they did every time my bros and sis return home.  I know, I'm just started studying for 1 year perhaps, unlike them, who pursuing PHD or finishing degrees.  This may sounds jealous, but let me remind you, JEALOUSY doesn't exist in my blood veins (maybe 1.5%).  I'm hiding in my room everyday, isolated from the TV's that I supposed to be catching on to.  My so-called "father"- he's been giving me a really hard time.  Picking fights, avoiding me whenever possible, and showing that he's still the dominant force like he is.  My little brother, he's just still that dependent to me, clinging to me wherever I go. My mom, she's keep on being constrained by the financial status, murmuring about problems, and consantly being harassed by the bastard I'm ashamed to call my "paternal relation".  Last week, that guy shoved a pair of shoes overboard during his packing to attend my "uncle"'s re-marriage in Miri.  THEY JUST DOESN'T RESPECT ME AS A PERSON.  I mean, that's just too much. Too much.  I cannot take this anymore.

      While I'm on my blog, I've decided to tell everyone about a true story I've seen, about a 19-year old teenager, who's having a hell as a life.  He's a life motivator to me.  This teenager had constantly being pressured by his teacher ever since he's in Form 1, getting almost every subject's distinction due to the fact that his siblings are high-achievers.  That really causes him to have an inner conflict, conversing every fantasy decision to reality, eventually leading him to have depression: a problem an adult should have.  He begins to isolate himself from the society, constantly studying until he achieve madness.  That's still at a moderate level, compared to what he's ABOUT to experience in the future.  He begins to shoulder a log of books to school, weighed by his Maths teacher at a  staggering 14 KG!!! That really gives him a humpback which is greatly illustrated by his walking posture now.  People thinks he's just having a low-confidence stance, but little did they know about his burdened pain.

      The nightmare of his life began when he's beginning to develop some weird lifestyles, eating alone, sleeping at 3 in the morning, hiding in the bathroom, and so on.  He constantly being scolded by his father about being hiding in the bathroom.  In fact, his "father" seems to beginning the abusive session by constantly punchig, kicking, and yelled out heart-scratching words that's too hard to the ears.  One day however, his father, waited outside the bathroom door, finished by his family dinner, while waiting for the boy's bathing session after finishing his afternoon schools.  He was Form 2 at the time.  When the boy came out, a hardly-shoved punch landed on the left of his face, dragging along with the velocity and the power towards a small bathroom mirror.  The mirror cracked a huge one along with the boy's hearing loss for 2 days.  The boy wailed like a dog in his room after that particular incident.  He never being the same anymore.

      The "orchestra" went on for a couple of years, with the boy continuously being kick and punch like a training bag.  The boy tried to forget this painful experience, but with that man's presence, he won't achieve it that simply.  His depression problems gotten worse, constantly giving him migraines and absent from school.  He's missing the lessons, drowsing away from reality.  However, he finally realized that the year (2005) is his exam year for PMR.  He tried to revive himself from all this mediocracy.  He eventually reached his concentration level and after succeeding in Maths, passed the exam with moderate results.  His nightmare doesn't end here although.

      After he entered the next former into a top class, the  trouble seems diminished with time.  Sweet dreams.  You think?  His complications begins the next year, where his "father" targeted him for not keeping up with the Science stream, failing in science core subjects.  Even after attending tuition classes, the so-called "Dad" of his constantly insulted him with vulgar words, keeping his sanity at borderline. The insult keeps on going until the public exams started.  However, after trying not hard enough and bad timetable arrangement, he loses the fight.  He entered Form 6 with an average achievement, compared to his siblings who entered the same road.  He escaped to Arts after a day at science class, realizing that it's just not his thing.  Hellish event lurks with his departure.

      The most climatic event occurred after he finished his final public exam.  He told me that the day is 11th of December, 2009.  As he just applied for polytechnic in Civil Engineering and received it, he discussed it with his mom.  At that particular time, he's constructing model figures of Ben 10 alien.  This boy is quite creative, in fact.  He continuously constructing model figures of anime titles, namely Naruto and Pokemon during study holidays.  His house is packed with them.  It's pretty funny and creative in a sort of way. During that time, he's constructing them with newspapers, designing the core of the figure in the kitchen by the floor.  His brother is at bay, as always.

      The discussion however turned turmoil after his father's sudden entrance into the kitchen.  He pretends to chop something by the kitchen counter, while listening to alien words murmured between his son and his wife.  They're mixed married, of course, with the exception that the guy couldn't understand a word in the wife's native language. Trust me, mixed marriage wouldn't go well unless both understands both's language.  Pertaining to the conversation, the father suddenly ran forward and choked his brother big time.  His brother, suffocated and blurred with the condition, couldn't do anything in that condition.  This is it, he said.  He rushed towards his "father" and had a rumble while dispersing his brother away from the location safely.  He's not the guilty one, why's that he's the one get choked?  The boy screamed at the top of his lungs, holding 2 dagger to defend himself and his brother from his so-called "father".  He yelled in BM: "We're leaving!!!!!!" At that moment, his mother holding his father, restraining him from causing further destruction.  They ran for their lives to their old primary school, where the roads are slinky and easy to hide.  They walked with exhaustion and fear for their lives, while remaining at silent, wondering where they're staying for the night.  They must had walked for a while, as it's 10 o'clock.  The boy decided to return home, no matter the stake is.  Later, they returned home, bathing in candlelight, hiding in the rooms locked from the inside, feared for their safety.  That's the climatic turn of their life.

      His story is sad and heart-wrenching, is it? What would you do in his situation?  I'd praised him for all he's gone through though.  Because the boy and teenager IS ME.