Semester 2, Moments To Be Shared (Part 1)

      And so, the long holiday begins.  It’s something that I’d been looking forward to since January.  Written with honesty, this article will depict everything about my personal views on what occurs all through semester 2: probably the most hardworking, tiring, enduring, and harsh periods of my life.  I’m proud of this period of study.  I’ve never been through anything like this first half of the year.   Went out at 7.15, returning at 11 p.m..  Really, returning at that late period.   Watching everyone resting peacefully at hostel, surfing web, eating with leisure, while I, just say that I’m probably the most hardworking in that D311. SLASH. 3. B.  Not praising myself, everything flashes back the moment 11.35 p.m. sets on the 30^th of April.  What I’ve endured through this semester shines back like a bullet train.

     Starting with January, my life has been nothing more than a chess board.  Arriving at KAB in inappropriate time, encountering housemates from the course that I despise the most: sports science, switching hostel again, being misunderstood for a chicken in a coop for not being able to blend in with the “nature”, then my life settles down a bit.  I’m finally free now.  THAT’S WHERE THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS.  As we can’t judge people from our first impression, boy was I wrong in judging my new housemates.  Two of them are fine, English course of “course”, has a higher intellectual level.  The other two however, makes me miss my perception on what hell that I managed to escape from home, reincarnated here in this very university’s hostel dormitory.  Their origin, religious views, and of course, subject makes them a s**t to be avoided.  People who see and encounter them for the first time will never expect the oddities that they both possess.  One, my roommate and I nicknamed him ”A” , is a person who is a new definition of weird.  Literally.  He’s black and anything, a typical Malay complexion, and somehow, hostile.  Behind this gimmick, lies a very strange life routine that he possesses, ranging from making “tssk, tssk” sounds before barging in the toilet (last minute attending calls of nature,ha ha) and even stools on the floor like a preschooler, relaxing, leisuring in the toilet bowl for ½ hour accompanied by squeaking of crickets, and very, very dirty laundry piling up.  Is this is the true characteristics of a religious teacher?  Compared by attitude, this guy has the better of the second one.

      This guy, nicknamed “B”, is a true a**ball that needs to be kicked in the rear and, perhaps even the front, ha ha.  He owns almost every criteria that a religious teacher should own, from outfits to complexion.  But, the horror lies within his attitude towards the surrounding people.  What I meant to say is, he’s a real hypocrite.  Nothing much more eerie than a dual-faced individual, agree?  He treats people with a smile and greeting, and could maintain his social mask for a long time before releasing it in his own room.  Ranging from door kicking, shameless key-borrowing, barging into other’s room, looking down on other courses than his own, last minute “copy-and-paste”, viewing himself as an almighty, and most importantly, greatly violated my rights as a mixed individual.  He’d done so many things for me to forgive him in a traditional final semester “apologizing towards each other” session.  Looking at his escapism of our departure that 30^th April from giving us a proper farewell, indicates that he’s the biggest scumbag I’ve ever encountered besides a social s**t that needs to be avoided at all cost.  Anyone that encountered this guy that I characterize, please be very careful as the air will become very foul and flies will attend to you.  The summit, or peak of this two guy’s behaviour is prescribed in two actions.   Which mature individual would think of releasing nature’s call in a place categorized as public-frequented besides gathering them in a mountain fashion sort of manner?

       Forget me for being harsh, but only someone who’s too stuck with religion and no further exposure to the beauty of science in the nature would be shameless to perform it.  Even if you’re unable to hold it, you wouldn’t be brainy enough to release it anyhow, will you? The second heinous act however, is perform by only one of them, much worse, in a mosque, the sacred place of his, mine, and many more: Islamic religion.  How could someone who constantly “aahh”’s in the speech, pretending like a professional, and using others without enclosing anonymity in the reference of the individual’s name, could speak freely  with his own might?  I mean, he’s even putting into public’s notice MY PLACE OF ORIGIN!!! And the topic is, MY HOUSEMATE DOESN’T PERFORM HIS RELIGIOUS DUTIES ENOUGH TO THE ALMIGHTY AND IS BUSY INDULGING WITH THE HECTIC SCHEDULE OF THE WORLD OF THE LIVING.  That really suck eggs, man.  You clearly violated people’s rights by professing your own literacy and fluency in delivering religious materials to the ongoing people of the mosque.  And, you cannot just simply use people’s life as your speech topic.  Like you’re jealous of other people’s business or something.  If your schedule’s only three hours a day and you got plenty of time for personal indulgence but you’re using it fully to fake your filial attitude to God and shouting holy verses throughout the household, don’t claim that you’re the more successful than the people who’s busy 12 hours and couldn’t even had time to breathe and having afternoon naps like you LAZY. That’s just a retarded mindset.

      That’s a depressed complain about 2 of my housemates.  The hell if they read my blog.  I’m really pissed with them, especially the particular “B” who’s a faker like I’ve never seen before in my 20 years of living.  Forgive me for the harsh and strong language I’m using, but I don’t think they’ll read this, furthermore to fully comprehend its contents.  So, it’s a free composing, right?  Enough of the complaining.  Now, to the beautiful part.  The sorrow of being doing the most work in a group project, besides being constantly being harassed mentally by my housemates is supplemented by the ever-going evolutions of my feelings and mindset.  Compared to my previous semester which I consider a fruitful evolution of my personality after living away from my family, is nothing compared to the developments that I’d experience this semester.  Love, hatred, and anti-shyness is something that I’ve endured this semester alone.  I’d got to admit, the recovery that I had experience during Form 3’s fight with depression may be least commemorated as compared to this semester.  Not being proud of myself, but   I’d experienced mutual feeling towards 4 individual this semester alone.  Next, to describe my happy moments of them, ha ha.

      The first mutual crush, is an individual that’s maybe the first ever to dare to open up to my shyness, thus opening my feelings.  She dared to inquire my well-being, even though we never even meet, live, study, and talk.  Her non-faking attitude besides highly confident of herself, makes me want to be with this person my whole life.  I mean, of course we want to be accompanied by our happiness to endure through the sacs and seconds of life.  During that period, I’m hoping that I’d encounter her again, even resulting to returning for the same spot where we first encountered for 3 weeks straight.  No matter what I do, I never encounter her anymore after that.  It wasn’t until soon enough that I always encounter her at unlikely places, like at bus stops, hostel’s leisure place, café, library, and even sundry shops.  My heart keeps on telling me to gain a relationship with this individual.  Go on and tell her the truth, it wouldn’t hurt even if you know she’s already owned, my heart constantly reminding me.  Someone’s as perfect as that couldn’t possibly don’t have any boyfriends, right?  That’s when I’m heartbroken by her at the same time early this year.  It occurs during a collaboration project between me and my Chinese pals.  I’ve even prepared a present for her on that day, preparing to take picture with her.  I know she wouldn’t reject me as she’s too friendly to do that, ha ha.  Boy, was I WRONG.  W-R-O-N-G.  In front of me, face-to-face, she’s accompanied by a male, more better than myself, while ignoring my presence right in front of her.  Eye-to-eye, man.  My heart’s shattered that very night.  It really aches when I reached home at 11.10 that night.  No PANADOL could heal that.

      Since then, my heart towards her truly disappears, although she’s constantly greeting me after that.  I’m really disappointed with her.  But, it’s not her fault.  She didn’t even know that I like her, man.  It’s a one-sided love as to be proclaimed.  She had praised me for my ability before.  Her smile still remains in my memory and will be the sweetest candy supply accompanying me, should there’s lacking of MENTOS in the market..  I’ve even awaken from slumber a few times, dreaming about her greeting me in the bus or the very same situation where we met before.  This isn’t a love professing, but it’s how I express my feeling.  Very deep inside my core, even though I had favoured someone new, but she still remains as my fresh love.  Truly, I dare to claim: I love you, *******. I really do.

      That’s really disgusting, isn’t it?  Moving on, ha ha.  The crushes that I had after that wasn’t so dominant as preferred to the first one, *******.  Maybe it’s a way of my mind giving up from so many tasks and by releasing it on other sources, which is the individual my vision viewed as being nice and may be compatible with my personality.   

                               Part 2, coming soon......