Pain To The Heart... Love Truly Is A Cruel God's Phenomenon

     Pain to the heart. Swells to your knees. Sore to your eyes. Hollow feeling inside of you. That's what I want to describe to people who'd lost their hearts in the battle between two opposing forces which encorages and negates our decision: just for LOVE. I'm still quite a raw mineral in this profounding phenomenon who's guiding mankind since it's creation to have their partners. One recently, recently occurred experience leads me to taste the true sensation of what has been infatuating youths everywhere.  I just want to share my personal feelings in this matter. Forgive me if everything in this blog regards only myself and not valuable information to share, but it's mine right?

     Since I stepped into this compound, I have felt nothing but loneliness from family. I believe everybody experience that, so no further enclosure applies. But, in recent months, I had silently saving my feeling for someone, not that I'm starch or anything!!! But, it's the first for me. So, it tastes as sweet as strawberry.  So, months gone with me still infatuated by this single person, knowing that this thought may found 99.9% of failure to be realized.  I've laugh and grinned alone even when the moments become tough, reminiscing the fun moments I had with her. But, an incident fully changed my perception towards it.  She ignores my presence somewhere I would not disclosed, even though I clearly indicates my presence. 

      "Darn it, I already knew and predicted this outcome." I constantly telling myself on my way home. I mean, it's the first for me to have this feeling towards someone, but it's a bitter medicine to swallow or even passing through my nasal cavity.  It sucks, really. Sucks. It's the end of my budding feeling towards others.  I cried silently while my roommate surfs online, while lying on bed, remembering every single thoughts that I may had on her. This may seemed fanatic, but please, no more misconception anymore. Maybe people treat me different somehow, as I'm not like those rough males, I'm more of a gentleman, not "Gentle Man".

      However, I realized that I should focus more on other stuff and relinquish this cloudy emotion. Maybe it's their treatment who's making me misunderstood. Ending this sharing, I think there will be no more love boggles my mind for a while, before I fully engulf this solid apple of discontent into my throat. I'll cry silently, when people's not looking......

     This song suits me now...I keep on tuning to it last night...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4SmKXh78cI

      Cry me a river...