My Poem for Starting Semester 6... Unofficially

Principles of Living with Emotions...

Credit to: Darker than Black

Friends,

What are they for?

Sometimes you feel like you wanted to do everything for them,

They who remain by your side during your ups and downs,
Contributors and stakeholders to either bliss to your soul, or miseries to your heart,

People who are considered as pals, never overlook the details,

As there are friends who may seem disdain to ourselves, ignoring everything we composes,

But in the back, they’re the ones who considered us in everything they did, even inserted our initials within their prayers;

Or worse still, people who we trusts as mutual entities and respected as such,

And ended up being a rotten scoundrel, full of filth with greed and self-centered attitudes to encompass  their so-called path of righteousness.

With this in mind, would we remain as dumb as we are, carrying the very little shred of dignity that we had to trail them around, or splash out the effort of repairing the relationship with the sole hope of recovering what’s lost inside?

Love,

What does it contains?

When we fell in love, the feelings are atmospheric and heavenly,

We would think of nothing but the people that we care, their imagery within our subconscious in everything that we did,

To the extent of shunning our own dignity and respect, just so that we could provide our person of endearment a pinch of sugary happiness,

But as tender and solicit it shoulders in the enzyme of hormone secretion, there’s uncountable prickly thorns of pain,

When the person that we expected to reflect back our composure with joy, turns down every shred of infatuated deeds that we done to them with a reality full of dejection,

While we ignorantly, blatantly carries every errand that they entrusts into our head of simplicity, issues arise whether it’s a manipulation of courtesy or just a testing of pure feelings,

In the end, there’s only 2 dead ends to the formula of love;

Be it that we’re happy with them, smiles volleyed at our cheeks, with the proud air of confidence on our chest saying, “This person is my eternal partner.”,

Or we just foolishly view them living their life full of conspiracy, hands clamping for public attention with their so-called “pity heartbreak” and I’m the hurting side”, while we retreats into the shadows of seclusion signifying an empty confusion of defeat.

Whichever side we chooses, never succumb to the much weighted one or the contrary, and it’s no discrimination to judge someone that we love,

Whether they suit our effort to be owned, or just being a nephilim of soothing effect to replenish our empty vessel of emotional requirement.

Self-Confidence,

An inner trait that would spark our splinter of success, or becoming the ultimate stepping stone towards our downfall?

Many would seems to have it, but not everyone are utilizing it to the fullest,

Some may be filled with it that they’re mirrored as arrogant, but some may be lacking of it that the couldn’t even do anything without considering public opinion towards them,

Could someone who’s jam packed with confidence propel themselves forward significantly without slanting to the path of arrogance,

Or became the object that would endow their lives, amplify that very source of inner despair with assurance to be successful in everything that they would do?

Managing conflicting inner trait is a challenge, mirroring inner disaster is a success,

As whatever one accomplishes, the balance between the two may be the batter of absolute CORRECTION.

p/s: It’s been about 4 weeks already since I updated.  Maybe if I’m interested, I’ll make some updates in the nearest future, but I don’t feel like it anymore.  So far, it’s been a disaster to me.  With all the emotional constraints ongoing, I’ve decided that I maybe will give up on blogging as well.  Probably would update only once a month.  Already gave up on my previous Facebook account for fear of people’s stalking (my former crush, my housemates, and my course mates who seems negative about myself), I literally had gave up on everything.  I guess by this time, I won’t be able to repair my reputation anymore.  So be it.  I just want to complete my final year project to the fullest quality, complete my degree, continue my Masters, and obtain a good wife.  It’s something that I considered I must do and abandon everything that seems nonsense.  I don’t want to be a babysitter for some girl who feigns my attention, been a sucker to my housemates, and most importantly, I just want to be myself.  So Li Shengshun, I hope that would be able to mature well & face everything that’s been thrown to yourself.