Sunday, April 29, 2012

Picture Not-So-Perfect Experience

Not much to say this time, as these few days I've been accompanied as friend by fever and migraines. The latter's my worst fear in this foreign land.  These pics are what I'm going through within this period of time, after being slapped with some shocking revolution from my lecturer and pals about my multiracial status.  Still a shock to me actually.  Guess misery is the thing that will be my partner until the day I passes...I'll share it another time.
Cee-Plus-Plus...

I look like I'm wearing makeup in this pic, so white like being bleached..xD

It's evil to take people's sleeping gesture, right? But he's my cute little brother, my best pal in the world.:-)





It costs me a whopping RM35 for the same distance compared to when I use the airport liner, which is 1/5 its price. Just to rush for seeing my "brother" that day in KL. Go figure with the math...




My training ground...getting used to the limb pain by now.


Linux...wonder where mine is. (know what I mean?)


My work station. Bought the mug without money. It's free stuff, LOL...

Night scenery...of my workplace.

Yes...with teeth.

Yes...with macho-ness. (kind of like it though, it's my natural pose after tiredness from training)

Have you ever seen a clothes that's being folded that FLAT? (except those in stores of course...)

Chocolate, our house's pooch.  I didn't dare to touch it, but sometimes I play food toss with it. Knows how to do tricks, this puppy...

A view from my library, during the mid-semester break...believe it or not, I'm the only soul in that level the current time...



Had Goku's dad ever wrote a book for him?

They said that these areas are haunted.  It really gives out the atmosphere when you walk alone there.

This is what I eat to live. It's ok, but most of the times, it's minus the fishballs...

My vicinity's mosque.  Started to pray here this sem because the changing of bus shuttle is quite daunting.

A pre-recorded TV show done in our campus 2 weeks ago.  Didn't realized it IS a national event until we reach the venue, so control ourselves there. 1st for us to be on TV.

Aiyoh, her friend that's favours in teasing me whenever I'm inquiring about her whereabouts.  Sometimes, it's just like handling a 7-year old infant, hehe...


They need to put the logo everywhere as long as the current PM reigns supreme, in stationary, shirts, banners...1.  What does it actually means anyway?


My new good pal...and my love advice guru. Smirks. :-)

Universiti Perguruan your head!!! Pendidikan. No wonder people always put us as teachers, we're out-potential too, you know...

Collage...


Sometimes when you review back your experiences, it'll give you an answer and medicine to your restless current fate.  It's a side-aid indeed.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

4 Seasons of Change - Everything Ends Eventually

Summer, autumn, spring, and winter,
These are the cycles of change, the metaphor of time revolution,
As changes occur in their destined fate, the temperament remains,
Forgotten details vanish entirely after a cycle undergoes its phase,
Eventually everything disappears, gone with time.

Seasonal alterations in the atmosphere, every sense tastes different,
The feeling of resentful, lingers as the forgotten matter emerges in visual perception,
A representation of nature: snow that dissolves away, revealing its transformed state,
There was nothing there, but now we see,
What we may been looking forward to, but not as it seems.

Roses with thorns, alluring but somehow prickly,
People's sense of righteousness is nothing varied, encouraging and at the same time with ulterior motives,
The honesty, shared between souls are getting intertwined in the string of conspiracy,
These strings that cross paths are unexpectedly tangled, 
Destiny is disturbed and emotions are spilled.

Wheel of the world, with ups and downs opposites each others nature,
As one rose to perfection, the bottom one being trampled in the path,
Surface experiencing friction, whatever the damages brings to it,
It's no different with seasonal changes, everything will eventually has its own timeline of development,
Where every sensation starts, peaks, and finally resides.

People may see every seasons with different favours,
Where summer might seem daunting, and winter may seems extreme,
It's the personal reference that will pinpoints your inner feelings, it never betrays its container,
And the road to the terminal of truth lies hidden beneath the surface of darkness,
Inquiries remains, whether hidden regrets make up for old betrayals.

The 4 seasonal interchanges,; summer, autumn, spring, and winter,
Is like a relationship span of bureaucracy.
The person is admired prior before, then followed as the mind instructed their noggin,
Becoming a friend, that later being erased likewise a trashed memory shreds being forgotten,
Eventually diminishes as easily as a mirage.

Within the park's confinement alone, the visitors are stunned with awe,
As every seasonal visitation would bring a thousand memories of endowment,
Some of it which is concrete, however some swifts like the passing breeze,
Deja vu of occurrence, slithers as it fills the imagery within subconscious,
Eventually forgotten as time kills it with its shattered blade.

To thy personal favourite, you are no equal,
Simply comes by with generosity, staying by thy surrounding while maintaining the integrity,
Fed up with boredom and ashamed with the commotion, finally decides to use evasion as a tool of escapade,
As thy patience grows thin, you will eventually pass by after the tantrums within thy subconscious,
As you are not memorable to be desired, favoured, even endowed by thy feelings anymore.

     P/s: The previous comment is removed, but this poem is still dedicated to the same girl prior time of editing.


Monday, April 16, 2012

Within Thyself's Labyrinth of Subconscious


As always, tears flowing down my slippery cheek,
Pointless redemption of joy, filling in the voids of sorrow,
Expanded range of experience, flashing within conscious in a nick of time,
Judgment of convergence from thyself preference, slithering as time passes, 
Within a brief slumber, awakened with a resolution to resolve everything.

There's nonsense of things such as coincidence,
As every sanity occurs within reason,
Concurrence of behaviour, destined by the intertwine chain of Fate,
It's a norm for us to receive whatever being Courteous,
Perception of absolute reference of attitude, crumbling every intersection towards the labyrinth of riddles.

Between the lines of Logic and Absurdity,
Engulfing whichever confirmed nature is a necessity,
Vocalization of pitching from within Subconscious,
Adhering to thyself cognition as an inference of absolution,
Erasing the hearts fill with Lies.

With a brief recognition of intertwined, intersected Fate,
Publicly intercept the sane ribbon: decision of human perspective,
Stepping into the realms of conscious beyond identity integrity,
Slowly, however reluctantly performing accepting for the regulation of self-identity.
Until the "Sun" rises: waking up from the emotional slumber.

Internally, or externally,
2 of which is of uttermost relevance,
A swing of pendulum repeats its motion,
Everything interlocked by the body's firm mental Chain, be it fragile of sturdy,
As everything happens with a destiny, nothing happens as a coincidence.

Existence encased by entities known as living Bodies,
The laws of nature, the flow of time,
The vessel empowering a soul's projection of living,
And most importantly, the spiritual, virtual working projector known as Mind,
Wielded by a powerful tools ever created in the world: Human.






Friday, April 13, 2012

A Maiden's Smiling Grievance


A maiden grieves on a dark night,
She sinks along into the midnight curtain,
The silver moon nestles close as the sacred night passes quietly,
Atoning for the sins of the blood-soaked children, the moonlight vanishes.

Silently, the maiden creeps out of her residence,
Ventilating, suffocating from the closure of a well-confined but somehow crammed space,
Suffering quietly without allowing the acknowledgement of her kin,
Which had become her flesh and blood, all this while yelping for silent attention.

As always, the hunger individual shrugged her righteousness of living,
Without careful acknowledgement of the timidity of her rebellion,
The man tugged on, refusing to let the string of humanity free,
While the maiden crying silently in the darkest of wee hours, after the happening of this atrocity.

The pitiful maiden, courageously empowered her last trail full of blood,
Crawling to accomplish her final call of duties,
Refused to allow her shrieking inner emotions to overcome her stern judgment,
However, her shell encases her empty soul, guidance to her logic truth.

The man, unbeknownst to the maiden,
Silently endowed every shred of his resentful behavior,
However, lives on within the confinements of the maiden’s tolerance ray of openings,
Accepting the nature that he indeed is sinful to the poor maiden’s torn inner mentality.

Without a doubt, the maiden shoulders the pain of smiling while grieving,
Every day, dragging her soulless carcass until she accepts the invitation of departure,
The day when she’s eventually freed of all this conspiracy,
The end of a new dawn, while it supposedly to be the beginning of a dusk closing by.

Finally, the maiden reaches the pinnacle of struggle,
The invitation of departure, in other context death visited her confinements of tolerance,
She passed on to the afterlife, peaceful but somehow sorrowful grin decorates her dull complexion,
However, mourning is but somewhat grand reception.

The treasure that she entrusted to her kin,
Is not of utmost value as everyone sees it, be endowing its contents,
That man, reaches out to savor his final feast of living security,
Under the blissful leading of the silver moon in which the maiden endeavors,
The man eventually gained as rightful as what his empty soul encases.

Her kin, bestowed with senses of distrust and angst to that man,
Maintaining their rages, propelled by their upbringing of morality,
Tears flowing violently, heads shrugged with regret,
Carries on living, down feelings haunting them forever as the silver moonlight befalls.


<lonewarrior>





Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Humorous...Suffering that Nobody Acknowledged

      I've just ironed 14 clothes straight, did laundry for 3 days in a row, clamped in the same seat for more than 6 hours the least.  That's how this holiday had become.  Sometimes, it really pisses me off to see how well others did their spare times, while I'm just clenching my fist in a desperation to obtain just a security assurance of money assistance from home.  Text-ed them a few times already, but they just did what they did the best: AVOIDANCE.  For those that's been following up on my misery sharing (that's this page), you must had realizes that I've been updating almost consistently these past few days.  Not because I'm hunger for attention, however it's the contrary.  No more love stories this time.  Yesterday, it's been like a hell of emotion turmoil for me.  Thinking whether to call home (actually, I'm just deciding to ask about their well-beings, no other motives), going to my pal's home for a few days of "home-stays", but all this prior planning had gone to ashes.  Just feel that my bond with others isn't as easy as it seems.  It's better if I retract back in my shell for a few days the best.

      Mentioning about my consistencies to update my diary, it's mainly because I'm not interested with that social networking page anymore.  When I logged on, there's typically no activities to do.  Nobody would even dare to chat along the spare time, as they're just busying showing off.  In this context, they'll just post about everything that's boasting about themselves.  These 2 days alone, I've seen countless entries of my course mates showing off their vacation particulars.  I mean, although it DOES seems like sharing is caring, but that's not like it seems to be.  People showing off their pictures of posing while cooking, limping behind statues, shouldering loads of bag packs, even when they're gritting that piece of meat between their jaws.  For people like us who's stranded here, it's not a good experience to swallow.  Maybe you're slightly well-off than us, that's why you'll be able to accomplish those vacation days.  That's how terrifying the impact of social networking is.  I once mentioned about a particular course mate of mine from my origin state.  She's among the lot that makes me sick with disgust.  Although my perceptions had changed towards her previously after doing projects alongside her, I'm typically shunning her proud behaviour.  She's just among the examples of human qualities that I would proclaim ABSOLUTE ARROGANCE.  

      Sometimes when I'm on lock of FB, I'll see her comments and status that's not as timid as people's supposed to be when they're socializing; it's more slanting towards self-righteousness.  Which jerk would like their own status?  Posers, that's it.  Not being outraged with her sociality, but she's among the best examples that I could give for a hypocrite individual.  I even spending my time guiding her with various academic purposes; formatting magazines, studies, even covering up for her loopholes in her tasks with me.  But, as I've mentioned previously, now she's doing the same thing when people don't find me useful anymore: looked away even when we encounter face-to-face.  That's just despicable human emotion that I could not withstand to the fullest.  When you're mentioning about your activities, it doesn't mean that you would go as far as to make individuals on the sidelines to feel that they're dwarfs, literally.  That's just an abomination which existence is to make themselves stand out among the crowd, no matter which situation it is.  Sometimes we need to take into account people's sensitivities towards matters that they couldn't possibly achieve, not because when they excel on the same matters as you and they did just the same then you would mention about their self-righteousness.  I feel that everyone's really hypocrites.  Used to thought that living outside is just almost the same as when you're studying in pre-tertiary level, only without families accompanying yourself.  Well, actually you need to add something to it: HYPOCRISY.

      As I'm confronting myself yesterday, I  noticed that I really hasn't gone anywhere even after studying here for 2 years.  It's pitiful.  Didn't even acknowledge the geographical location of Taiping is, while it's only 2 hours away.  These Peninsular soil makes no difference if you're living in poverty; your willpower is insufficient to propel you to achieve your materialistic desires.  I've never had that particular feeling summit when people manage to accomplish something that they desired.  Never actually bought something that I want other than my necessities.  Even need to calculate every penny from the spending to avoid it to make my limit of spending 10 bucks per day (if got extra prerequisites it'll obviously exceed ).  Never bought clothes, except for the cheap 10 bucks shirts from my house vicinity's departmental store.  5 packs of instant noodles would make up for my 3 days of mid meal (the other half will be savored outside while I'm on duty).  Buying foods and beverages twice per week so as to fill my desires for those costly meals that I couldn't afford.  Should printing exceeds its budget range, I'll cook noodles at night.  Like I said, never crossed in my mind to leisure my finance on shopping sprees, even for performing trips on the outskirts of Tanjung Malim.  I see that people are so free with themselves.  When they drained their account, they'll be backed by their "parental" banks.  And they dare to claim that they're limiting their expenditures.  Eat my dust, loons.  

      I'm pitying myself as even when I never request for extra expenditures, should I mentioned it to my families, they'll be less interested with my living.  I'm an innocent, sorrowful person living everyday, fighting on the verge of my sanity to never give up on whatever I do.  But, as compared to those that bluffed about their loneliness even when there's nobody to communicate with them, see my life as far more miserable than yours, lack of love and care, timidness, and unable to perform financially.  You'll commit suicide or slant to the wrong intersection already should it be you.  I'm no hypocrite, my depression maintains my judgment, and the lack of care from everyone surrounding me makes me strong, however longing for attention.  But how should I perform when the very remains of my pillar is on the verge of demolition?  Perplexing my ether reality within a subconscious that I would bear before it bursts into shreds.

"Alone is the sense when there's no one surrounding you to be relied on but yourself."
"When you're lost in the sensation that yourself is constantly within your perception and nobody else lies along the path, that means you've lost your being from the reality; in other words, you're on yourself. "
"Struggles that's too prickly to bear is a battle that you should give in, don't torture yourself with things that people twice as strong and brainy as yourself didn't even dare to maintain. "
"The grimy coin that's being polished would still had its moss persisting, although how hard the effort is put in clearing the surface. "

Monday, April 9, 2012

It's Spongebob...My Dear!!!<=.=>

      I've done changing my templates repeatedly, kind of bored when you desires a perfection in everything.  I've experimented a few different templates, but finally I reverted to this one.  Perhaps people started to have a thought that I'm publicize my personal matters, so from now on any changes is restricted to only the wallpapers on the back (each one is accustomed by myself, of course).  So, now within this boredom of being alone this semester break, I'll just scribble some jokes on this virtual canvas.  It's comedy mode/ assignment accompanying night...

No jobs, can't live without $, and no hope to excel, keh3...


Eeeeiiii!!!


Comediology...





ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS 1!!! Cause everyone's doing this when they couldn't comprehend your problems.

LOL...xD

I eat toenails for breakfast...without any milk.

Iyaaahhhhh!!!!!!



Nice ID...

It's moronic...

True, my starfish friend.

The spelling's all wrong...it's...

RIGHT!!!

Suction cups...
Would you had expectations that your infant would be THIS adorable? I do...;-p
Yup!!!
The reaction when you hear something awkward...
For what?
Say it right!!!

I don't, just those posers.:-)








Oooooooooooooooo..................

Yeahhhhhh!!!!! (I'm so crazy with overpressing keystrokes, haha...)
D.U.H...

What do you think Plankton wants to do, sneeze or yell or just, swell?

"You like Krabby Patty, don't you Squidward???"

Same reaction when we go into a room when our room mate brought in some peole we don't know...


LOL...

That dance, it's so addicting...

See?

He'll keep that stance until someone come and stop him, don't you think?

Holler, Patrick-style...

True right?


Sunday, April 29, 2012

Picture Not-So-Perfect Experience

Not much to say this time, as these few days I've been accompanied as friend by fever and migraines. The latter's my worst fear in this foreign land.  These pics are what I'm going through within this period of time, after being slapped with some shocking revolution from my lecturer and pals about my multiracial status.  Still a shock to me actually.  Guess misery is the thing that will be my partner until the day I passes...I'll share it another time.
Cee-Plus-Plus...

I look like I'm wearing makeup in this pic, so white like being bleached..xD

It's evil to take people's sleeping gesture, right? But he's my cute little brother, my best pal in the world.:-)





It costs me a whopping RM35 for the same distance compared to when I use the airport liner, which is 1/5 its price. Just to rush for seeing my "brother" that day in KL. Go figure with the math...




My training ground...getting used to the limb pain by now.


Linux...wonder where mine is. (know what I mean?)


My work station. Bought the mug without money. It's free stuff, LOL...

Night scenery...of my workplace.

Yes...with teeth.

Yes...with macho-ness. (kind of like it though, it's my natural pose after tiredness from training)

Have you ever seen a clothes that's being folded that FLAT? (except those in stores of course...)

Chocolate, our house's pooch.  I didn't dare to touch it, but sometimes I play food toss with it. Knows how to do tricks, this puppy...

A view from my library, during the mid-semester break...believe it or not, I'm the only soul in that level the current time...



Had Goku's dad ever wrote a book for him?

They said that these areas are haunted.  It really gives out the atmosphere when you walk alone there.

This is what I eat to live. It's ok, but most of the times, it's minus the fishballs...

My vicinity's mosque.  Started to pray here this sem because the changing of bus shuttle is quite daunting.

A pre-recorded TV show done in our campus 2 weeks ago.  Didn't realized it IS a national event until we reach the venue, so control ourselves there. 1st for us to be on TV.

Aiyoh, her friend that's favours in teasing me whenever I'm inquiring about her whereabouts.  Sometimes, it's just like handling a 7-year old infant, hehe...


They need to put the logo everywhere as long as the current PM reigns supreme, in stationary, shirts, banners...1.  What does it actually means anyway?


My new good pal...and my love advice guru. Smirks. :-)

Universiti Perguruan your head!!! Pendidikan. No wonder people always put us as teachers, we're out-potential too, you know...

Collage...


Sometimes when you review back your experiences, it'll give you an answer and medicine to your restless current fate.  It's a side-aid indeed.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

4 Seasons of Change - Everything Ends Eventually

Summer, autumn, spring, and winter,
These are the cycles of change, the metaphor of time revolution,
As changes occur in their destined fate, the temperament remains,
Forgotten details vanish entirely after a cycle undergoes its phase,
Eventually everything disappears, gone with time.

Seasonal alterations in the atmosphere, every sense tastes different,
The feeling of resentful, lingers as the forgotten matter emerges in visual perception,
A representation of nature: snow that dissolves away, revealing its transformed state,
There was nothing there, but now we see,
What we may been looking forward to, but not as it seems.

Roses with thorns, alluring but somehow prickly,
People's sense of righteousness is nothing varied, encouraging and at the same time with ulterior motives,
The honesty, shared between souls are getting intertwined in the string of conspiracy,
These strings that cross paths are unexpectedly tangled, 
Destiny is disturbed and emotions are spilled.

Wheel of the world, with ups and downs opposites each others nature,
As one rose to perfection, the bottom one being trampled in the path,
Surface experiencing friction, whatever the damages brings to it,
It's no different with seasonal changes, everything will eventually has its own timeline of development,
Where every sensation starts, peaks, and finally resides.

People may see every seasons with different favours,
Where summer might seem daunting, and winter may seems extreme,
It's the personal reference that will pinpoints your inner feelings, it never betrays its container,
And the road to the terminal of truth lies hidden beneath the surface of darkness,
Inquiries remains, whether hidden regrets make up for old betrayals.

The 4 seasonal interchanges,; summer, autumn, spring, and winter,
Is like a relationship span of bureaucracy.
The person is admired prior before, then followed as the mind instructed their noggin,
Becoming a friend, that later being erased likewise a trashed memory shreds being forgotten,
Eventually diminishes as easily as a mirage.

Within the park's confinement alone, the visitors are stunned with awe,
As every seasonal visitation would bring a thousand memories of endowment,
Some of it which is concrete, however some swifts like the passing breeze,
Deja vu of occurrence, slithers as it fills the imagery within subconscious,
Eventually forgotten as time kills it with its shattered blade.

To thy personal favourite, you are no equal,
Simply comes by with generosity, staying by thy surrounding while maintaining the integrity,
Fed up with boredom and ashamed with the commotion, finally decides to use evasion as a tool of escapade,
As thy patience grows thin, you will eventually pass by after the tantrums within thy subconscious,
As you are not memorable to be desired, favoured, even endowed by thy feelings anymore.

     P/s: The previous comment is removed, but this poem is still dedicated to the same girl prior time of editing.


Monday, April 16, 2012

Within Thyself's Labyrinth of Subconscious


As always, tears flowing down my slippery cheek,
Pointless redemption of joy, filling in the voids of sorrow,
Expanded range of experience, flashing within conscious in a nick of time,
Judgment of convergence from thyself preference, slithering as time passes, 
Within a brief slumber, awakened with a resolution to resolve everything.

There's nonsense of things such as coincidence,
As every sanity occurs within reason,
Concurrence of behaviour, destined by the intertwine chain of Fate,
It's a norm for us to receive whatever being Courteous,
Perception of absolute reference of attitude, crumbling every intersection towards the labyrinth of riddles.

Between the lines of Logic and Absurdity,
Engulfing whichever confirmed nature is a necessity,
Vocalization of pitching from within Subconscious,
Adhering to thyself cognition as an inference of absolution,
Erasing the hearts fill with Lies.

With a brief recognition of intertwined, intersected Fate,
Publicly intercept the sane ribbon: decision of human perspective,
Stepping into the realms of conscious beyond identity integrity,
Slowly, however reluctantly performing accepting for the regulation of self-identity.
Until the "Sun" rises: waking up from the emotional slumber.

Internally, or externally,
2 of which is of uttermost relevance,
A swing of pendulum repeats its motion,
Everything interlocked by the body's firm mental Chain, be it fragile of sturdy,
As everything happens with a destiny, nothing happens as a coincidence.

Existence encased by entities known as living Bodies,
The laws of nature, the flow of time,
The vessel empowering a soul's projection of living,
And most importantly, the spiritual, virtual working projector known as Mind,
Wielded by a powerful tools ever created in the world: Human.






Friday, April 13, 2012

A Maiden's Smiling Grievance


A maiden grieves on a dark night,
She sinks along into the midnight curtain,
The silver moon nestles close as the sacred night passes quietly,
Atoning for the sins of the blood-soaked children, the moonlight vanishes.

Silently, the maiden creeps out of her residence,
Ventilating, suffocating from the closure of a well-confined but somehow crammed space,
Suffering quietly without allowing the acknowledgement of her kin,
Which had become her flesh and blood, all this while yelping for silent attention.

As always, the hunger individual shrugged her righteousness of living,
Without careful acknowledgement of the timidity of her rebellion,
The man tugged on, refusing to let the string of humanity free,
While the maiden crying silently in the darkest of wee hours, after the happening of this atrocity.

The pitiful maiden, courageously empowered her last trail full of blood,
Crawling to accomplish her final call of duties,
Refused to allow her shrieking inner emotions to overcome her stern judgment,
However, her shell encases her empty soul, guidance to her logic truth.

The man, unbeknownst to the maiden,
Silently endowed every shred of his resentful behavior,
However, lives on within the confinements of the maiden’s tolerance ray of openings,
Accepting the nature that he indeed is sinful to the poor maiden’s torn inner mentality.

Without a doubt, the maiden shoulders the pain of smiling while grieving,
Every day, dragging her soulless carcass until she accepts the invitation of departure,
The day when she’s eventually freed of all this conspiracy,
The end of a new dawn, while it supposedly to be the beginning of a dusk closing by.

Finally, the maiden reaches the pinnacle of struggle,
The invitation of departure, in other context death visited her confinements of tolerance,
She passed on to the afterlife, peaceful but somehow sorrowful grin decorates her dull complexion,
However, mourning is but somewhat grand reception.

The treasure that she entrusted to her kin,
Is not of utmost value as everyone sees it, be endowing its contents,
That man, reaches out to savor his final feast of living security,
Under the blissful leading of the silver moon in which the maiden endeavors,
The man eventually gained as rightful as what his empty soul encases.

Her kin, bestowed with senses of distrust and angst to that man,
Maintaining their rages, propelled by their upbringing of morality,
Tears flowing violently, heads shrugged with regret,
Carries on living, down feelings haunting them forever as the silver moonlight befalls.


<lonewarrior>





Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Humorous...Suffering that Nobody Acknowledged

      I've just ironed 14 clothes straight, did laundry for 3 days in a row, clamped in the same seat for more than 6 hours the least.  That's how this holiday had become.  Sometimes, it really pisses me off to see how well others did their spare times, while I'm just clenching my fist in a desperation to obtain just a security assurance of money assistance from home.  Text-ed them a few times already, but they just did what they did the best: AVOIDANCE.  For those that's been following up on my misery sharing (that's this page), you must had realizes that I've been updating almost consistently these past few days.  Not because I'm hunger for attention, however it's the contrary.  No more love stories this time.  Yesterday, it's been like a hell of emotion turmoil for me.  Thinking whether to call home (actually, I'm just deciding to ask about their well-beings, no other motives), going to my pal's home for a few days of "home-stays", but all this prior planning had gone to ashes.  Just feel that my bond with others isn't as easy as it seems.  It's better if I retract back in my shell for a few days the best.

      Mentioning about my consistencies to update my diary, it's mainly because I'm not interested with that social networking page anymore.  When I logged on, there's typically no activities to do.  Nobody would even dare to chat along the spare time, as they're just busying showing off.  In this context, they'll just post about everything that's boasting about themselves.  These 2 days alone, I've seen countless entries of my course mates showing off their vacation particulars.  I mean, although it DOES seems like sharing is caring, but that's not like it seems to be.  People showing off their pictures of posing while cooking, limping behind statues, shouldering loads of bag packs, even when they're gritting that piece of meat between their jaws.  For people like us who's stranded here, it's not a good experience to swallow.  Maybe you're slightly well-off than us, that's why you'll be able to accomplish those vacation days.  That's how terrifying the impact of social networking is.  I once mentioned about a particular course mate of mine from my origin state.  She's among the lot that makes me sick with disgust.  Although my perceptions had changed towards her previously after doing projects alongside her, I'm typically shunning her proud behaviour.  She's just among the examples of human qualities that I would proclaim ABSOLUTE ARROGANCE.  

      Sometimes when I'm on lock of FB, I'll see her comments and status that's not as timid as people's supposed to be when they're socializing; it's more slanting towards self-righteousness.  Which jerk would like their own status?  Posers, that's it.  Not being outraged with her sociality, but she's among the best examples that I could give for a hypocrite individual.  I even spending my time guiding her with various academic purposes; formatting magazines, studies, even covering up for her loopholes in her tasks with me.  But, as I've mentioned previously, now she's doing the same thing when people don't find me useful anymore: looked away even when we encounter face-to-face.  That's just despicable human emotion that I could not withstand to the fullest.  When you're mentioning about your activities, it doesn't mean that you would go as far as to make individuals on the sidelines to feel that they're dwarfs, literally.  That's just an abomination which existence is to make themselves stand out among the crowd, no matter which situation it is.  Sometimes we need to take into account people's sensitivities towards matters that they couldn't possibly achieve, not because when they excel on the same matters as you and they did just the same then you would mention about their self-righteousness.  I feel that everyone's really hypocrites.  Used to thought that living outside is just almost the same as when you're studying in pre-tertiary level, only without families accompanying yourself.  Well, actually you need to add something to it: HYPOCRISY.

      As I'm confronting myself yesterday, I  noticed that I really hasn't gone anywhere even after studying here for 2 years.  It's pitiful.  Didn't even acknowledge the geographical location of Taiping is, while it's only 2 hours away.  These Peninsular soil makes no difference if you're living in poverty; your willpower is insufficient to propel you to achieve your materialistic desires.  I've never had that particular feeling summit when people manage to accomplish something that they desired.  Never actually bought something that I want other than my necessities.  Even need to calculate every penny from the spending to avoid it to make my limit of spending 10 bucks per day (if got extra prerequisites it'll obviously exceed ).  Never bought clothes, except for the cheap 10 bucks shirts from my house vicinity's departmental store.  5 packs of instant noodles would make up for my 3 days of mid meal (the other half will be savored outside while I'm on duty).  Buying foods and beverages twice per week so as to fill my desires for those costly meals that I couldn't afford.  Should printing exceeds its budget range, I'll cook noodles at night.  Like I said, never crossed in my mind to leisure my finance on shopping sprees, even for performing trips on the outskirts of Tanjung Malim.  I see that people are so free with themselves.  When they drained their account, they'll be backed by their "parental" banks.  And they dare to claim that they're limiting their expenditures.  Eat my dust, loons.  

      I'm pitying myself as even when I never request for extra expenditures, should I mentioned it to my families, they'll be less interested with my living.  I'm an innocent, sorrowful person living everyday, fighting on the verge of my sanity to never give up on whatever I do.  But, as compared to those that bluffed about their loneliness even when there's nobody to communicate with them, see my life as far more miserable than yours, lack of love and care, timidness, and unable to perform financially.  You'll commit suicide or slant to the wrong intersection already should it be you.  I'm no hypocrite, my depression maintains my judgment, and the lack of care from everyone surrounding me makes me strong, however longing for attention.  But how should I perform when the very remains of my pillar is on the verge of demolition?  Perplexing my ether reality within a subconscious that I would bear before it bursts into shreds.

"Alone is the sense when there's no one surrounding you to be relied on but yourself."
"When you're lost in the sensation that yourself is constantly within your perception and nobody else lies along the path, that means you've lost your being from the reality; in other words, you're on yourself. "
"Struggles that's too prickly to bear is a battle that you should give in, don't torture yourself with things that people twice as strong and brainy as yourself didn't even dare to maintain. "
"The grimy coin that's being polished would still had its moss persisting, although how hard the effort is put in clearing the surface. "

Monday, April 9, 2012

It's Spongebob...My Dear!!!<=.=>

      I've done changing my templates repeatedly, kind of bored when you desires a perfection in everything.  I've experimented a few different templates, but finally I reverted to this one.  Perhaps people started to have a thought that I'm publicize my personal matters, so from now on any changes is restricted to only the wallpapers on the back (each one is accustomed by myself, of course).  So, now within this boredom of being alone this semester break, I'll just scribble some jokes on this virtual canvas.  It's comedy mode/ assignment accompanying night...

No jobs, can't live without $, and no hope to excel, keh3...


Eeeeiiii!!!


Comediology...





ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS 1!!! Cause everyone's doing this when they couldn't comprehend your problems.

LOL...xD

I eat toenails for breakfast...without any milk.

Iyaaahhhhh!!!!!!



Nice ID...

It's moronic...

True, my starfish friend.

The spelling's all wrong...it's...

RIGHT!!!

Suction cups...
Would you had expectations that your infant would be THIS adorable? I do...;-p
Yup!!!
The reaction when you hear something awkward...
For what?
Say it right!!!

I don't, just those posers.:-)








Oooooooooooooooo..................

Yeahhhhhh!!!!! (I'm so crazy with overpressing keystrokes, haha...)
D.U.H...

What do you think Plankton wants to do, sneeze or yell or just, swell?

"You like Krabby Patty, don't you Squidward???"

Same reaction when we go into a room when our room mate brought in some peole we don't know...


LOL...

That dance, it's so addicting...

See?

He'll keep that stance until someone come and stop him, don't you think?

Holler, Patrick-style...

True right?