A Sing-Along For My Nerves

      Really sorry for the post earlier.  I know I've to see a psychiatrist or something, it's dead serious in the trunk(car bonet).  Maybe you'll think I'm insane or sort.  But, rest assured.  As I'm doing this part, my nerves are a little bit soothed.  Perhaps, I've really picked wrong guys as companion. (they eat you in the process). Sorry. Heartiest apologies. I want to share a lyric that really come through my day (at least for this period, geez...)

Carrie Underwood (Change)

What'cha gonna do with the 36 cents

Sticky with Coke on your floorboard

When a woman on the street is huddled in the cold

On a sidewalk vent trying to keep warm

Do you call her over hand her the change

 Ask her a story ask her her name

Or do you tell yourself

You're just a fool

 Just a fool  

To believe you can change the world

 You're just a fool

Just a fool  

To believe you can change the world

 
What'cha gonna do when you're watching t.v.

And an ad comes on Yeah you know the kind

Flashin' up pictures of a child in need

For a dime a day you can save a life

Do you call the number reach out a hand

Or do you change the channel call it a scam

Or do you tell yourself

Chorus
You're just a fool

Just a fool

To believe you can change the world

Don't listen to them when they say

You're just a fool

Just a fool

To believe you can change the world

Oh the smallest thing can make all the difference

Love is alive

Don't listen to them when they say

Chorus

You're just a fool

Just a fool

To believe you can change the world

The worlds so big it could break your heart

And you just wanna help

 But not sure where to start so you close your eyes

Send up a prayer into the dark

Chorus
You're just a fool

 Just a fool

To believe you can change the world

Don't listen to them when they say

You're just a fool

 Just a fool

To believe you can change the world

Oh the smallest thing can make all the difference

Love is alive

Don't you listen to them when they say

You're just a fool

 Just a fool

To believe you can change the world

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/change-lyrics-carrie-underwood.html ]

Here is a link to this awesome tune by her:

Man, I'm a man, but this song touched the warm spot inside. 

 

I'm...Stunned With The Amount of Hypocrites Around Me...Count It and It Could Drown An Elephant

You!!!!!!! Why're you always making me pissed off? I understand of all people, but you? Why, you!!! Now I felt like you are my dad's reincarnation all over again.  I respected you to be situated all together with you this semester, but you really are the BIGGEST CHEAPSKATE I'VE EVER SEEN!!! Son of a *****!!! You betray me over and over again, then you play dumb, not knowing you had injured my heart in the process.  I hate you and your thick face!!! How thick your face is? 5 cm? 

You are undoubtedly, the 2nd darndest person after my father.  You said that you're taking care of me, but all I've seen is you been treating me like a baby.  As if you're having burdens to look after me with my pitiful family condition.  If you're by any chance smaller than me in age, I would had, undoubtedly slapped you so hard you would had heard a sharp twitching in your ear as the final tune you'll ever hear.  How much are you going to betray me? I mean, I'd posted on Facebook countless anonymous statement that pinpoints your betrayal to me, darn it!!! And you're too nitwit to even comprehend my English? You are quite a shocker.  Enough with the pity feelings you had.  

By the time you left me for just having fun with your buddies, you've lost me as a friend.  You always did that.  But when I'm absent even for a couple of hours, you'll act as if it's my fault of leaving, perhaps leisure or sort.  You really are the biggest midget I've ever seen.  Scumbags.  I am an adult to be pitied by a hypocrite like you.  Countless anger in the form of silence had I've hampered on this 4 wall compound, but you and your buddy are just too naive to even realize it.  I mean, if you're really paying attention like you are and nothing else, you'll notice my fury a LONG TIME AGO.  What a loser!!! Scum!!! I pray that we inter-switch our lives, let you be in my shoes for a moment.  Then, you'll realize that it's hard to be Farid.  Scum piece of loser!!!

P/S: Forgive me so much for this, I just couldn't find a suitable location to vent my anger, as I've lost my parents, brother, family, and even my friends in the process of experiencing university life.  God, help me. I'm so troubled inside.  Being treated like this over and over again, what had I done in my past life to be bestowed some living as horrible as this? Every day I weeps, and weeps, but it never seems resolved.  What the heck is this life for? Now, even my closest pals had turned their back when they found out about my past.  Haven't they seen over my recently weird behaviour? 

By leaving me like this, is it an appropriate thing for them to do? Maybe I really should've evolved earlier, this way they could've not trampled me like this.  I felt like my standard had been lowered into the lowest trench in the ocean, even though I've not done any crime in this life to be treated like this badly.  If you had feelings like you should and not blinded by wealth and enjoyment, you would've left me alone in the dust earlier, not by aiding me in the process and then left me like a piece of used napkin.  What am I? Toilet papers? Chewed apple leftover?  Oh God, I've almost giving up in this life.  Just a step closer towards my self-destructions.  I've done so much to please everyone, but, nothing seems working out.  I'm so sad....................:-(

Finally, I get to update my diary again after a month's hiatus.  There's a lot going on these 1 month, no less happiness and despair combined altogether. This particular sharing, I would like to express some of my personal feelings that I've been unable to release upon others.  Some are good, some are, well...

    First of all, I will release...My Inner disagreement!!! With particularly, SOMEone... Friends, what are they really represent? My housemates, they may be considered friends, but not close ones.  When they leave me with silence or looking down on me, I know it. Get it man, I'm hypersensitive. I can decipher your every facial expression or intentions.  So, suck it if you're smiling and I get what you want to express.  My housemates, maybe we're not of the same course or sort, but we seems to be in a distance away even though we may seems close.  It scars me quite a few cm inside, literally.  They did everything without my concern. Add the oil, they sort of...let's just say in a vastly different culture than mine. Of course.  Maybe it's because they know a lot about my troubles and family affairs, they seems to just look after me and far away from than being an average friend. We just talk a few, then silence. It's different than between them.  My bad mouth. I'm too soft that I'm not enclosing my life carcasses well that it seems quite obvious.  My family quarrels, financial constraints, everything.  I reveal everything to them.  Now, I can see that you can't trust anyone other than your accurate judgment.  Buy this, buy that. Now, I seems like a sucker in a boxing ring...

    Friends in UPSI.  How to say it? Well, some of them are fit to the purpose, but some of them more acting like a parasite.  Forgive me for the harsh words.  Let's depict an example.  A girl that I know (name disclosed for privacy) is probably among the weird personality I had encountered so far (apart from the people aforementioned above.)  We met, we laugh, I borrow my assignment to her, I taught her anything I know.  Then, it's silence. I mean it.  Silence.  When we met, if we're locking eye-to-eye during our encounter in campus, she will...squish her hair and looked away.  I get it.  It's not the first of it anyway.  This campus, everyone seems to donned a mask of disguise, if they really express themselves, they won't be accepted by the community.  I mean, you are ignoring your coursemate like that.  I get it.  I'm not that interesting anyway.  I f you want to know me, you will get close.  After you did, you will ignore me 'cause I'M BORING AND UNINTERESTING.  People here are so much of a fluke.  I mean almost 80% of them.  A few of them are really acting like they are, I can see that.  While others, just buying a Pierre Cardin tuxedo, attending a prom which they know they aren't fitting in if they're in their actual state.  This is just an example of the few corrupted community, where people like me seems drowned to the bottom level of the sea, compressed with the atmosphere of atrocious torments from the society and even my own family.

    Enough of it. But I'm not done yet.  God damned those souls.  Fortunately I'm not like them,  still remain my composure although being ridiculed and misjudged.  The happy part. Perhaps the sad part.  My search for a soul companion may had come to a halt.  Honestly, I thought I could befriend some new companions (hope it's a girl, truly said), but the efforts proved futile.  So far, only a junior seems open up to me, and she hails from my state.  I'm thankful for that.  Every female and male seems to be heavily matured and independent in this compound, they don't need any guidance.  So, my "binocular view"  hasn't been working out.  Maybe it was the "cheap lens"...I opt for Nikon instead. But it'll be quite some time before I I could realize my dream. Enough personification, haha...Later on, people will stop subscribing to this page, or even view it...(I don't know why I kept on putting the signature 3 dots at the end of each snetence I typed, even of FB...)

    Apart from the disaster that I'm having (from my mom's borrowing of half of my study money, I don't know how to live after this) and...the catastrophy befalling my families, there's some apples in it.  For example, the Interaction Day (AURA which stands for Akademik Unggul Raih Anugerah) of the juniors for my course last Sunday.  I'm quite exhilirated for this event, where I my be able to break my "ice" and get close to people, both my friends and the juniors.  The effort doesn't seem too successful and achieving its summit, but it's ok for the time being.  I learn to be stern while being playful at the same time.  The best, the group that I coordinated along with my two female pals turn out champion.  That's a great news for them, and to myself.  My binoculars don't work in this event, however, as I 'm not that photogenic in almost all the pics taken...And the people I want to know so much turns out to be like the others. Cannot get to them.  So, plans aborted.

    I don't want to share too much of my shattered state of mind (it might turn out like the people mentioned above), but who's viewing this blog anyway, with all the comments and stuff?  Just for pleasure, I'm sharing a few of the sweet pics I've taken this 1 month time period.

Me...

Me...+ Pals...

Me...+ Juniors...

Me...+ Pals...

Not me.+ Pals...A sporting one. I like his personality...:-)

Me...+ Pals...Looks like staring...

Me...+ Pals+ Dean of our Faculty...a historic moment.

Me...+ Pals...

Me...+ Pals...Can't see my head, man...

Not me...+ Pals...

My blog IS DULL...Hope anyone reads it won't be affected by my dull aura...sigh.:-D