Exactly 3 days ago, I had my first convocation (& hope it won't be the last). A lot of stuff that I had undergo during the period of 4 years I'm studying for my Information Technology degree. However, it was summarized in only a day. As I left the hall, I encounter 4 types of people: people who grinned at me to the extent their lips curved abnormally (a super smiley), people who looked away as I offered my hand to congratulate them, people who stays to spent their probably last memory by taking candid pictures, & people who walked away immediately as if they're avoiding our presence. I must say, university played an important role as the "School of Life" for dudes like me. I became "someone-in-IT-world" rather than some guy who only knows the fundamentals of using computers. I learn the value of betrayal by people closest to us. How to compete beyond our own capabilities. How to fall in love. How to remain ambiguous even by the continuous onslaught of people i call "social idiosyncratic". Although I attend my convocation ceremony without any relatives, it shatters the foundation of my rigid heart and rebuild it stronger.
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| Yours truly, at the left. :-) |
During these period, I manage to saw the portrayal of emotions by my university brethren. How did people who being in luck always strive better. I decided, it's time that I finally retreat into the shadows and re-phasing my upcoming life. Well, I just got offered as a legit research assistant to 1 of my lecturers (quite a high position as well). That means, I may become an actual programmer for the next year. So as they say, forget about the past pains & strive to crawl forward. No more time to being overkill in the love department. When I think of it, how I rose from being an abused victim 10 years ago until what I currently achieve is a spectacular story that I had already put into novel composing. Until the point that I stopped writing, I had reached 120 pages. If I'm eligible as a writer, perhaps it's going into publication. Time to focus on how I could further my studies in the fields I had passion on, & how to furbish my mom's life. People doesn't realize my hidden painful journey, but I'm glad that I managed to complete it. Phase 1 is complete. Now, to proceed further.
"I think the only time people really have value is when they act according to their own will. " - Makishima Shogo, PSYCHO-PASS episode 20
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