Love, Hate, It's All in a Mind's Game

Feelings that were drawn together, emotion that lingers without purpose.

Sometimes it was an act of nature, inevitable & unspoken.

The deep concoctions within our soul, searching for that tranquility of reasoning.

Following one’s will of empowerment, amending each others' perceptions of opposite proportions.

It’s not a mistake to love unevenly, however it’s a misjudgement for frail conceptions.

As one’s experience overtakes their own norm and beliefs, judgment shrouded with blurred decisions for reality.

Cries of endearment, occurs silently however abruptly with each farewell.

When we had an attachment, is it a just to interpret mistakenly each others' opinions?

When a mistaken emotion is mended, would grudge or distrust bud immaturely in them self.

Losing trust for expressing inches of their skin to others, isolating conception thus eliminating any expectations for the future?

Would these feelings be recovered once time passes, as a new sense of belief in oneself is stimulated.

For them to start anew, believing that the once impossible feat of emotion endearment could actually be accomplished.

Starting anew are synonymous to a blank white canvas; the artist picks up his utensils & reconstruct his sketches.

The decision is made instantaneously, as should he review his past performance or indulge in different scope of drawing.

If the past gained recognition more, or should he try a new approach that’s risky?

Our mistake starts here, where we often chose the preferred “better” than latter.

People choose to do something with their own reason, whether it’s acceptable or not.

As the motive could be two-pronged; in the sense of acceptable with norm or just an artifact of gaining objection.

You will always find the value of what’s precious after it’s passed, realizing the precise choice that should be amended before.

The best preference is to go back to the beginning, shifting away the pain & strive towards a better beginning.

Emotion transition determines one’s attitude on life, be it positive or negative.

Resentment without purpose, caring with consideration.

It’s up to one to carry it all, donning the mask of personal identity.

Love up to oneself, hate up to another, it’s all in the mind’s labyrinth.

it's my opinion on people's ever-changing emotions lately.

My Humble Outlook on Life

Life, it’s all about how you live. You could go through with your norms, feeling comfortable in the 4 corners of your wall. Yeah, you expect when you left for a while the misery you once had & evolve a new life, the reality upfront is it. Future lies ahead look bright. New companions, unexpected conflicts, endeavours, it’s what makes life interesting. There’s people enjoying your presence, & there lives people who hate you for no reason. 



There’s accomplishment that you deem proud of, & there’s things that you want to achieve so much but you failed. You felt like, proceeding forward. Ignoring these agendas that holds you in your place. However, reality is to be lived, not to be relieved. How to open your eyes, to be mature & accept the surrounding as people see fit. So, it’s at the intersection. To decide on the future, it’s not easy.

My Poem About Relationship...

      It's really been a while since I compose entries that came straight from the heart.  These 6 months period had been filled with new chapters of my life; teaching practice in the Pearl of the Orient, Penang alongside 2 months internship in Kepong, Kuala Lumpur.  So much had been lingering on these past months, that it sort of mend me from the inside.  I also lost mood to compose my life stories.  Probably, after the "identity intrusion" case made me insecure to pour out all of my dissatisfaction online for the sake of people to judge me.  Although hundreds of thousands hour these past 2013 that I spent alone, looking for a new identity & pathway to discover, gladly to claim that I might had recovered some of the traits I lost from all these years of family struggle.  Maturity I say, probably had wiped its foot on my doormat.

      Feelings, I learned about them a lot.  All these while that I'm reminiscing all that I've been through; how my 1st dating turns out to be a F.A.I.L. disaster, my 2nd love left me in the dust, confused.  Most importantly my upcoming one.  I'm still puzzled by my revelations of feelings for her.  Probably (lot of probability in this entry, duh~), she had already found out.  She empowered me a lot during my darkest hours, so does I am to her.  Testing period is on.  But I realized our fate is just not meant to be.  Probably (again~), should I ever been given an opportunity to share my life with her as a couple even for a short period, I won't mind.  But, alone it is for Farid Morsidi, a.k.a. Li Shengshun.  But proudly after my second crush, I would like to say "I love you".  Probably, love isn't just about ownership.  It's about making the people that we care about happy.  When they're living well, so do we.  So here it is, a poem that I composed for her before my internship ended 2 weeks ago.  Too late to update it, but hey it's still going viral.  Dear, this is for you. :-)  

There’s something about the way when Fate encounter us in its path,
Maybe we were meant to be, or living life separately.
The strands of life memories, made us create imagery & perceptions,
Cause it sometimes feel strange, when we’re living close however seems far eventually.

Mutual feelings interjects, overflows the vision with illusion otherwise reality.
Where what’s expected as actual expression, fades out from conception.
Long time understood to be fake emotions, turn out to be emotions budding for affection,
It feels strange in this world of humanity, where people strive for relationship longevity or prosperity.

The essence of mutual relationship is like a labyrinth of puzzles, where our Fate remains unknown.
People meet and greet, extend their understanding regarding each other.
The longer they subjugate and sync among themselves, the more they endow each others' affection.
That’s where the risk lies, whether one would deeply indulge into the inter-relation be it repelled by its unwelcome state.

Is time the determining factor of everything, to delve deep into someone’s heart,
Or the compassion & affections developed within, that’s expressed from that ongoing longing of each other.
Does the principle of time span applies when we favours someone, or the emphasis is slanting towards the more important bonding that we share?
And so the question remains, could we care for someone that we live with every day or live with them just as the process of acknowledging new acquaintance nurture from time to time?

Cases of mistaken perception sometimes bear more thorn than been stabbed suddenly with a dagger,
Whereas a wrong step in relationship may take a downturn of awful awkwardness, or mature into a blissful memories for the future to come.
Emotions could mislead, however it could be the precise judgment towards self-maturity,
So as feelings of mutual bonding, where it could shape a person’s integrity of concrete reasoning.

When you form a friendship, don’t take advantage from each other.
When you encounter an intersection in relationship, choose the best option developed from the concrete judgment.
When you fall in love, make sure that it’s not a misunderstood state of one-side favouritism.
When you fail in relationship, take it as God’s way of offering a better key for a better furbished door to your pathway of happiness.

<Farid Morsidi, 4.34 p.m., Saturday 18th January 2014>