9th July 2013. My new journey started. A tour toward nurturing adolescents in the school. Well, it’s a path that we must go the moment we
enrolled into this institution. The strange
thing is, why did they make it compulsory for us to attend internship if we are
only focused on teaching? If anyone’s
smart enough to realize it in my course, they might somehow try to fill up
their knowledge with outer information by now.
It’s holiday, so I’m spilling the beans again.
The day when I left my hometown, I wondered if
I made the accurate decision to return home in a mere less than 3 weeks
period. When my mom claimed that she
wanted to divorce during my final semester 6 exam, that’s when my conscience
made me purchase the flight ticket. I’ve
seen the day to come, where all my siblings agreed to it. The man’s causing her too much pain. But during my 20 day stint at home, I’ve seen
mom smiling & cheerful expression after I acted as a joker. Telling her my experience, sharing about
perspective of our broken household in a humorous way. That period, I was her protector. My mom told me that he’s intimidated with my
presence. I know. Somehow he won’t had it in mind that the very
same Farid that’s unorganized & been scolded upon every day before school
could become so proficient in languages, talking so maturely. Mom even bought me a new Xperia L to replace
my problematic Xperia Mini Pro that I gave to my brother. But as I await for the divorce call, it didn’t
happen. But at least, I made mom
happy. That’s what matters. The divorce would come soon, I acknowledge
it. The notion just required the
presence of all 4 of us siblings to make it happen.
As I returned to Peninsula, mom send me that
day. Heart sobbing expression
indeed. When I wanted to take a memory
picture with her, she refused. Maybe
some of us didn’t want to be weakened to the core when we see stuff that
reminds us of what we care about. I
reached Tanjung Malim and stayed there for a night before I continue to
Penang. The democracy I met there. Mentioning an incident with my course mate, I
met 1 of them during my purchase of train ticket. He told me that there’s another who would
also depart the very same night. At the
counter, he told me he’s also buying the ticket for the pal who would left with
us. His name is A***, our older
senior. He told me he’s short in cash
department that time, so I offered to pay up for the cause. When we left that night, we were almost late
due to their last-minute packing. I
almost went berserk & panic. However
everything just went to a pass. A pal of
mine, housemate of his, took us to the train station. Okay, they gave him 5 bucks as a sign of
appreciation. I gave 10. And he just took it. The experience just went by when we took the
train. When I reached Bukit Mertajam, I’m
still waiting for A*** to pay up.
Although he said 3 times that he would, he never did. Hrm, them.
I’ll just view this action as probably a treat for them.
I’m staying with my pal Arvin in Penang. He’s the one who sort of “saved” me that day,
when my course mates create a ruckus over signing the school registration
form. The few that told me they’ll took
me in, they were invisible to me that day.
I only saw them after it ends, when they came by and said, “Minta maaf Farid, saya dah ambik sekolah
yang dekat dengan rumah. Dah penuh. Sorry ye tak dapat ikut janji kita”. I mean, that’s the incident that made me feel
that my course mates are people that couldn’t be trusted. Even if they proclaim they’re saints &
their popularity is greater than ours. I
vow to disappear when I return in semester 8, no need for me to aid these
people anymore. Independent is
good. I’ve stray away from my story a
bit, he he. I kind of doubt my stay with
Arvin, as I’m afraid that I’m more of a burden than good. During the first few days of me arriving
here, I could see that he attempted to be a good host by taking me to visit his
town; the shopping outlets, residential areas, roads, & etc. He even rejected my offer of paying monthly
rent, however just asking me to pay for the fuel ride to school. He’s nice, I think. Eventually few days passed. His parents first treat me with hospitality. The father is well, different from the
mother. He’s very gentle in speech,
not harsh or anything. His mother, she always speaks in
Hokkien. His father is the first who
greeted me & took me on tour around my school compound, SMK TASEK. However nowadays I just notice that they sort
of losing that “warmth” element.
Sometimes when Arvin’s not around, I could hear his mother talking about
me. Saying how I only stayed static in
the room or chatted to them. I presume
that they thought I’m shy as I’m not a full-fledged Chinese, & still been
dominated by my Malay trait. So nowadays
I just stay in the room. But here on
out, Arvin took me less for outing. I
don’t know the reason. Maybe, I need to
be patient to endure this remaining 3 months.
For my school, it’s been a huge culture shock
for them to accept me. Mostly because my
slanted-Chinese complexion. I remembered
the first day I’m in, we had an assembly.
I was been pushed to sit in the same row as the Principal. Wow, I was dead nervous. Imagine that thousands of eyeballs just stare
at you, blank & motionless. The dire
moment came when the PK1 said, “Encik
Farid bin Morsidi, dari UPSI. Sila
perkenalkan diri awak kepada seisi sekolah.” I tried to act cool, and my dialogue was, “Asalamualaikum. Saya Farid bin Morsidi dan berasal dari
Sarawak. Saya dapat bertutur dalam 7
bahasa, kecuali bahasa Tamil.” The
students clapped like, crazy!!! Since
that day, students that I encountered always inquired, “Cikgu Cina masuk Islam ka? Muka Cikgu macam Cina ooo...” Maybe that’s among the reason why **na
rejected me, perhaps. The nice thing is
that there’s 2 Indian teachers who’re so friendly with me ever since Day
1. They are my neighbor. . Madam
Raymala & Jaycintha. Both of them
are teaching English, while Mdm. Jaycintha in teaching Chemistry as addition. Mdm. Raymala always chatted with me about the
school, & it’s funny stuff. These are the twos that always chat with me in English, where I thought "Aah, finally." The PK’s
are always in a cliché, so are the Science & IT teachers. From there I sort of know the school’s
administration. The other teachers sort
of greet-and-hi with me often, but we don’t know each other much.
I was given 5 classes to guard; Form 4 Science
for History while 2 Form 1 & Form 2 classes each for Computer
Literacy. For the Form 4 & Form 1
classes, they sort of acknowledged my teaching styles already. I shared everything with them, even including
my love history. Names of the people
involved are not left out (sic.). I sort
of blended in with them. The most awful
is for my 2nd Former classes.
They’re the most rascal, deviant batch in the school. I wonder why I was given them to
control. Why? Question mark. I need to claim that I’ll hack their Facebook
account should they ever open it, & I got the power to shut off all the
networks via my maiden computer. Yeah, I
sort of bluffed. J I can’t
control them much. However there are a
few of these students who’re trying to make their class to cooperate with me,
even often silencing their friends who’re truant for me. There’s 1 class who I always got relief into,
my Form 1 Gigih. Although they are sort
of uncontrollable, but they know how to behave at the appropriate time. I think that it’s just probably their nature
of growing up. We can’t ask them to keep
silent to the extent that they’re mute to socialize with their
surroundings. Whenever I came in, they
always gather around like a swarm of bees, saying “Cikgu, kami nak cerita!!!”
Owh, I thought. I told them my
life stories, how I claimed my dad “passed away”, my shred of Chinese culture,
my sixth-sense abilities, & my short-love experience. I was touched that day when I told them about
**na. One of them said, “Cikgu lempang je dia. Jangan bagi muka. Macam tu dia buli cikgu.” I felt that people heard what I’m trying to
convey wrongly. She did nothing wrong,
it’s her nature that caused me to be much hated. I concede to that. But, these classes might just make up my day
of living in this school.
From my experience in Penang, slowly &
faintly I manage to understand a bit of myself.
I’m not that shy, just that my painful childhood history shielded my
courage to socialize fully with people.
I’m not that voice-conserved individual, it’s just that my voice is
deprived after less conversating with people.
I’m not that less topic to chat with, just that I enjoy silence. I could be super-friendly, but to those that
I’ve known enough. I’m willing to
sacrifice without regretting, just for the sake of the people who need it the
most. I dislike people who always show off
what they have, whilst they thought others don’t. I’m very particular in my actions, it’s
because I don’t want anything to go wrong.
I like to help those that I love, but I don’t want them to betray my
trust. I get annoyed hard, but once I
did it would be painful difficult for me to forgive. So with the upcoming Raya where I won’t get
the luxury of savouring it with my family like others who often return like
RM800 bucks is like Double A paper & bragging about it, I hope that my 4
months here doing practical would be a smooth one. Be it a good sacrifice for me to endure
living in people’s homeland, but it’ll be a proud exclamation for me to say, “Yeah, I lived here before. ...”, “I’ve experienced Raya without a family”
when my graduation comes next year.
Kudos.
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