Master Degree...A FYP Story of My Own

The guy in the middle is my senior, while the one hiding is yours truly. :)

Just tonight earlier, I was chatting with 1 of my seniors.  He’s taking Computer-Aided Design, graduated 1 year prior.  What he told me, made me reminisce about what I’ve gone through during my final semester in university as a degree student.  I’m majoring in Information Technology.  1 month earlier, I just finished studies.  I even took a professional course in web development, Adobe CS6 Dreamweaver where I thought is essential before entering the world of occupation.  My senior is currently a tutor in my university with Diploma student.   He told me, how the experience of being a research assistant turned out to be a hectic life with no personal commitment accomplished.  It reminded me of how my course mate act during the days of deadline before we got our final year project exhibited to the crowd.  It was funny, but sort of reflective of what a normal university student would do.  It also became a determining factor for me, whether to further my studies or not.  Time to reminisce about a chapter in my life.

Beginning on February 2014, our final semester begun.  Usual preparations as well, where we enrolled with our courses & stuff, meeting supervisors on our progress.  I was doing a project based on Eclipse environment, Android application development.  There’s no guidance here, all hands on with own effort.  The hectic life begin for me.  As early as the 1^st week, I begin to spent my entire afternoon in library, alone researching about Java.  Even though I did quite a lot self study, this I could say useless in helping me program my application.  Eventually I relied on some source online, where I tried coding everywhere, compatible to be compiled with my application.  It’s where I learn XML & JAVA.  One of my friend, he chose the similar project scope with me using Java.  We both are the only ones programming our application entirely using pure Java, using the actual internal development environment.  This made us quite proud with our accomplishment indeed.  However, that’s not the highlight of my story.  From the remaining 146 course mates of mine each of them chosen other scopes, such as Python or to the simplest of HTML.  I became a guiding & motivating factor for my pal to carry on with our project that seems hopeless without any guarantee to finish & assistance from lecturers.  However, we never gave up until the final moments before exhibition.

During the final 2 weeks before exhibition, the very library that became my “second home” began to be crowded with the shadows of my course mates.  Wow, I was glad that during the less peak hours of 7.30 p.m., there’s existence of familiar aura around.  Lessen my heart from worrying about the rumor about our haunted library.  Pun intended.  However, this pleasing sight soon became a very sore for eyesight that I began to search for somewhere else to spent my 8 hours a day routine when there’s no lecture during the day.  The very attitude that colours my course mates’ attentiveness toward programming.  Discrepancies exist, where they pay each other to finish their project.  Some of them who referred to me, confessed that they’ve never been clearly exposed towards of the world for HTML.  Some of them even took 1^st class.  So I started to wonder, how these people actually excelled?  Live a lie?  My social media feed began to be crowded with selfies of them doing project, some with very irritating captions.  Imagine, the same routine they did for 2 weeks up until before the exhibition.  I wonder, if they’re placed in my situation of building Java apps that we never learnt before would they actually manage.  I’ve seen some of them as what I would describe as “remora fish with the shark” mutual relationship.  High score, but no foundation in programming.  They were even not motivated to use language other than their own as lecture medium.  These experiences that I see in people, became the true motivation for me to learn something that people perceive impossible to master.  I want to prove that with sheer willpower, we could accomplish anything.  It was my personal guideline up until today.

Sadly to say 1 day before the exhibition, I realized that my project won’t be able to be completed on time.  I gave up on the spot, right next to where people are setting up the booth & sort.  I wasn’t the first.  The friend that followed my footsteps, he told me prior that what we are trying to accomplish is rather murky by the time.  He had sort of a light argument with me, claiming that he’ll move platform to using drag-and-drop software instead.  I was sincerely heartbroken at that time, felt like if I didn’t shroud him with my confidence of completing our project he might’ve done better with ordinary systems development.  I continued to debug my application, knowing that all hope is gone.  The exhibition came.  I was judged by 2 strict lecturers, where I believe my attempt to show my incomplete app may have come to a disaster.  All of my other course mate who selected normal systems development had accomplished their task.  Even those that took the easy way out, had presented to the lecturer as if they’re the actual “brain & brawn” behind their project.   Actually I quite regret the selection that I made. 

The main interface of my app.  Only 1 month after the exhibition that I managed to debug it.  Luck waits for no man they said, haha.

If I didn’t choose that path, I might end up as a proud presenter just like what final year students should have experienced.  You know, those that like "I'm proud to tell my grandson" thingy.  Confidence flushed down the drain.  Even though I didn’t go through the normal HTML & PHP development like others, I had tutored 20 persons in accomplishing their project.  It made me a proud man inside.  Surprisingly, those that cheated their way to the top won the top prize.  Even my pal who moved from Eclipse to drag-and-drop environment won 2^nd place for his Android app.  He was absent to receive the prize, as he never expected he could win.  The uniqueness of our project might have lead to the winning.  I was his representative to receive the prize that people perceive I was the winner.  Left the hall with smiles, I broke down devastated that night.  I spent 9 hours every day studying Java, teaching others.  But that factor made me received appraisal from my closest pals, who saw my effort.  It became a bittersweet final year memory for me.  However, I was relieved that my failed effort didn’t diminish my trust in what I believe: never succumb to others' intuition, trust our own will.  Felt complete, that I manage to share my true account which is not in entirety but told with sincerity.

This is a life story that had mold a part of my life, beginning from the very foundation of IT programming that I’m fond with.  I learn how to bear pain of been betrayed by people that I love, envied by people who don’t understand our sorrowful life story, & how to work on ourselves using our own motivation to strive forward.  That experience also made me began to receive support secretly from a few of my lecturers, who praised me for my effort to laying out an impossible feat.  Even trustworthy support from the highest recognition of my faculty, my very own dean, made my friends awe.  It was a fact I never mention to anyone.  These life experiences made me learn a few melees to better equip myself of what to come in the future.  It also made me love programming, ready to further my studies in either the fields of Multimedia, Information Technology, or Internet Computing.  However, doubts exist.  The accountabilities for furthering my studies.  The credibility that I could placed in people should there’s some Master students who care more of selfie doing assignments than accomplishing everything well.  Discrepancies of the faces of people I’ll met during the unpredictable span of studies.  Financial aspect included during the time span involved.  Adaptability with a new layer of society different from what I experienced during degree years.  Heavy feeling of leaving Mom for another few years whilst busy doing my own thing.  So now, should I continue immediately?  Only God knows.  Thanks to those involved officially or behind the scenes during those moments of critical 11^th hour for our final year project exhibition.  A life experience to be etched firmly in mind.

Keep your dreams alive.  Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.  Remember all things are possible for those who believe. " - Gail Devers

Happy 59th Birthday, Mom. :-)

After 4 a.m. she woke up every day, whether it's weekdays or the resting hours of weekends.

Tidy up her bed, then came over to my room.

Gave me a pat in the head or just a simple tug of my blanket, ensuring I had the warmest of nap.

Starting her work, where she did the same routine every day for almost 40 years.

Cleaning all shreds of dusts, imminent or those hard to wipe dirt.

Boiling water as maiden did during old days, maintaining well in the entire hygiene of the household.

Preparing to leave for her next destination, where she'll had to endure through another human environment.

Experienced as she is, she misses any opportunity of carrying an act of misconduct.

Always determined to accomplish her outspoken responsibility, educating the transition of generation of school youngsters.

Whether she's scolded by the incompetency of her IT knowledge, or being praised of her excellence in raising the school's bar of competitiveness.

She's always patient, never mumbled about her difficulties except towards her families.

Respected as an experienced primary school educators, where 30 years plus gone by with various harsh nature & sweet memories.

She oversaw the pattern of students mature, became excellent speakers in their native language & English that she hold in high regard.

Students grow as time passes, transition of new generation swift through the school compound.

Enduring through harsh schooling hours of 9 to 10 hours per day, where she returns home with a camouflage of her epic fatigue.

Didn't even care to take her lunch, she sprung into action to resolve home duties that she haven't done.

Before she eventually left again, becoming a tutor in another teaching institution far greater than none.

Where there she is highly respected for her capabilities, whilst at school she's shrugged for her left-out nature in field we call IT.

Patiently teaching the very same group of students that's weak in school, where their parents placed high expectation that their offspring would accomplish well under her nurturing.

Returning home again, busily carrying out the household chores that she's heavily obsessed with.

To the extent that she fell asleep on the chair, she went on unnoticingly nodding with the TV shows’ noise of cheers.

Undergoing the daunting process for 30 years, she suffers patiently without the support from her hubby.

Painful past marriage experiences she had, only sharing it with no one but herself.

Her arms show coarse nature as similar to a mere leather piece, white hair grow unnoticed on her chin.

As children, I watched how my mother grew old in pain while raising us.

Raising us to the extent of getting older rapidly than Mother Nature permitted, giving us motivation to strive further.

Although we couldn't get anything we want, we're grateful with what we contemplated.

As I vow to get the highest academic exclamations for Mom, so she would be glad with what we accomplished.

 p/s: without a photo, this poem I wrote for Mom is quite invalid I guess.  But still, happy birthday mom.  Always pray that you'll be well & live happily.

Life's most deep feelings are often expressed in silence and the one who can read volumes from your silence is your true companion. - Ritu Ghatourey Quotes