And so
it goes, the 9 days of holiday just went by like that. If it wasn’t for the Friday class (thought we
had it, but blast it with the juniors for cancelling it without informing us!!!),
we’ll had a 10-day holiday stint. It’s
ok anyway, but doesn’t feel like I had enough.
The Saturday when it starts, I followed my pal to KL, sightseeing at
Lowyat without buying anything, except a box of KFC… And my heart aches when I
see all those elegant techs. If I got
RM700 at that time, I would had swiped my 4 and 1/2-year-old Nokia 3250 with a Samsung
smartphone. Blame me for being born into
an unfortunate situation. This time, I’m
going to share the ups and downs of my past times. Most of them went by with completing
assignments anyway, so, didn’t had anything to elaborate, lol. But, this hols is equally important to me, as
I learned the true value of friendship.
So, here it goes, me blabbering again.
After
my short KL trip (my first anyway), I returned home with a total
EMPTINESS. And, I immediately called my
best pal in the universe-My little brother.
We talked for probably 45-minutes, chewing my credit juice all at once,
haha. But, I’m quite pleased with the
call, as it’s been nearly 1 month since I’ve contacted that miserable
home. I learned a lot about what
happened during my absence. But, it’s
their fault that they got caught in the conflict they faced now. Being deserted entirely by my relatives,
there’s particularly nothing that could be done to resolve our
complications. Nobody wanted to help us,
with the stubbornness of that bastard, Morsidi who’s keep on burdening my
household. My alter-ego couldn’t do
anything to solve this problem, as I’m a far distance from home. Not that I want to share about it, but as
stated in my previous entries, my family had reached a critical motion that we’re
hanging on the thin thread that’s separating the minute strings of death. I don’t even know if I could last here, with
all my study loans that’s being contributed to help them. Maybe, I’m facing it here as well…
This holiday,
I’ve being staying at my good pal, Syamsul’s house, where all the AT20-ians
priorities are residing. Exciting, as I’ve
never being in a stay-over before. They
dragged me there, fearing that I’m might could been facing any dangerous
situation with the distance of my house, besides the other hidden factor: my
ability to see and feel “things”. Not
enclosing about that, maybe in the future entries, haha. I departed on Monday night. It was really the setting that I desired for
long: my own people who understand everything I do and would give huge attention
to my routines. It’s a clearly varied
situation with my “Chinatown” residence.
Explained it previously, duh… The next few days, I completed my
assignments with a hassle, eating in a group, and even get to watch TV!!! TV!!! The
idiot box that I’ve been missing even before I returned from the 4-month hiatus
to UPSI. My favourite drama, “Cinta dan
Anugerah”. Miss that a lot. We eat traditional delicacies together (sambal
belacan, fish fritters, and even some meat curry from the previous Hari Raya
Haji that I missed…L) Although this treats may seem a little
lacking from the usual RM4.50 nasi lemak that I bought, I felt like I’m
appreciated at this household. I could
pray 5-times a day without worries, chat emptily, lie down when I’m having a
drowsed, and so on… This really are MY PEOPLE.
While I’m
staying there (mentioning their name won’t be a fault, right?) with Andi
Rasman, Syamsul Bahari, Khairul Nazreen, and Nik Amirul Izzad, we socialize as
a whole. Not constricted by the
emotional wall. We ate burning steam
rice, cycle to the mosque, watch TV, shout “Goal!!!”, this is the true
sensation that I desired for my entire university life. My first to cycle in Peninsular!!! When
we had assignments, we could share (even copy-copy, hehe). The taste of sambal belacan remains in my
noggin’, as I might never had a chance to taste it again. Maybe I should be a permanent residence
there. Even with all the lacking of facilities,
I still feel FREE. But, when I leave
this “Chinatown”, the seniors might get the wrong perception about me. So, what’s the verdict? Move? Or stay? My entire AT20-ians support
the former idea, during one of my posts in FB.
I’m still puzzled with this revolution.
I still had ample temporal space to elaborate on this idea. Both places had their own pros and cons, I would
admit. However, as my conscience
constantly reminds me of decisions that I regretted in future dates (this IS
the case with my family troubles), I didn’t dare to jump to the
conclusions.
Sincerely,
I’m thanking God this time for making my life less miserable those few
days. Even on the night I’m leaving
their compound, my Sarawakian pal Syamsul seems to be having a rock-edge on
releasing me. As I reached home and
really accomplishing what I targeted to return home early to do (laundry, 11 of
them!!!), I saw this hollow compound again, where I might get the idea that
behind the sympathetic gaze those occupants gave me, lies a very uncomfortable
thought that I’m alienated. I mean,
duh. 7 Chinese+ 1 “Malay” won’t form a
1Malaysia ideology, or merging the Malayan constitution. Leave that all behind. To my AT20-ians who had accommodated me for
free those 3 days (I bought 2 keropok and give them RM10, so not typically free
lah…), I thanked you from the bottom of my heart. They may be not reading it, but this situation
really cured me from the saber that’s piercing me even at this particular
moment. My family doesn’t even give a
damn about my well-being here. I know
they might had their own flings back home, but 1-minute call won’t hurt
right?
On to
the re-opening of the semester, it’s going to be a harsh fight to the finish,
again. With my returning status to my
hometown is still pending, I don’t know how to face this remaining days, both
financial or mentally. Maybe, there’s a
friend when you need them…
