I'm always whining about my business at home, or at campus. I'm like a dude being shoved his head with a brick, running everywhere, gasping for air, just imitating a cancer patient grasping for oxygen. So, finally I got to update it. My family had been having clashes of thoughts with me, my "brother" that I tended to defend so much had officially isolated me, I sometimes became the "host of the scenery", people's misconception to me, and so many more. Crazily, I even had a crush on someone like, for 2 hours and forgets her when I woke up the morning after. Now, I even had a crush with a sweet and genuine-looking girl from my hostel. This mind had really gone berserk. It's keep on screaming for help when I overused it, but what can I do? Become a no-brain? Sikes.
Sometimes, I truly felt that myself keeps on facing atrocities while been lullabied on the tender depths of Heaven. What the heck? I don't even know what else to type next. The reason for my overexhaustion points to 3 main factors that left unsolved, even until today, this minute, and this very second. First, I EXHAUST EASILY. It lives in the blood. I'm actually not 100% when doing everyday chores, even after taking 9 hours of rest on Sunday, my only day of activity halt. Exams, lectures, and socializing isn't seems so compelling anymore these days. What I truly desire more than anything now is : REST.
Secondly, I'M A LEADER. Not something to be proud of, rather when during the high school durations, where everbody seems so naive and tends to cooperate with the same resolution Here, HERE, it's a thing in the past. When I became a leader, I've to sacrifice on A LOT OF THINGS: money, time, and happiness. My own spirit is shrinked away each time I'm doing some group work. I tend to give in to my group's demands and let them do the decision. But, BUT, by doing this myself is culled at the very spot again and again. I admit, I'm not a good one. I didn't delegate the tasks fairly, doing it myself, and it had been on since the very first semester. Fear that this situation will wonder by itself and left me in the dust for the next academic year...
The third one's gotta be: I'M SOFT. Everything. My heart is so fragile that I could fall for anyone's nice to me. I'm also a ... not mentioning it. Look above, it's obvious. SENSITIVE. I keep on had a crush, forget it, and develop a new one. perhaps it's normal for a youth's growth... God, I'm really praying this time. Even though I've a simple mindset in religion and maybe had done countless mistakes that left increased with my development, I truly pray that You will give me a good companion in this university. I need it really bad. My family, they'll always be like that, no matter how time flies. So, I think it'll be left unmentioned this time.
My achievements so far... it sucks. My carry marks are not convincing enough for me to redeem my semester 1's supposedly gained glory. I really blurred now... With the finals just 1 week away, I'm going to contend with the biggest fighter in my history of clashes: THE EXAM. I wish myself to survive after this war...
